Diapers, dopamine & distractibility - ADHD in pregnancy, birth and early parenthood

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What's up my friend, it's ADHD.

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Powerful possibilities.

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I'm your friend and host ADHD.

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Coach Katherine.

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This week.

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We're looking at the impact.

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Pregnancy and childbirth

on women with ADHD.

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And then we're going to

offer some supportive.

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Practical ideas that you can take away.

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I'm going to apologize again in

advance for my continued croaky throat.

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It is.

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Virus city.

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It's not a great time to

be recording a podcast.

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Let's be honest, but you know,

this is important stuff and

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I want to share it with you.

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I will edit as many of the

coughs and throat clearings

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and squeaks as I possibly can.

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Bear with me.

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If some of them make it through

into the final recording.

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And thank you again to everyone for

your support, especially over the

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last couple of weeks, looking at the

impact of ADHD on women and girls.

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After looking last week.

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How ADHD may affect her path through

work and school and education.

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I thought what's the next

big stage in your life.

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And what I've noticed

with clients is that.

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The stages we reach.

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Tend to increase the challenges

on our executive functions and

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we reach a point sooner or later.

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Where we just can't do it.

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When the executive

functions are so overloaded.

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That we have a meltdown.

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I found that pregnancy and childbirth.

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Whereas the real crunch points for me,

education was tough and education was

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not always fun, especially at university.

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But the impact of

pregnancy and childbirth.

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Was off the scale from my brain.

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And if I had known then what I

know now, Things would have been

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very different for the first few

years of my parenting journey.

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I want to make sure you have that

information, or you can share

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that information with other people

who are going to go through it.

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And who have the chance.

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To experience things differently.

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Let's acknowledge there is an inequality

in childbirth specifically for women

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of color who are much more likely to

experience medical problems during

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pregnancy and after childbirth.

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And also that there's an inequality

globally in terms of access

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to health care and support.

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That being said, there's another

inequality, which has the

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difference in maternity leave or

parental leave after childbirth.

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I know many of my friends in the states

have told me it's officially two weeks

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postpartum, which frankly shocking.

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How does that affect ADHD?

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We will come to that folks.

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but I just wanted to head up

at the start of the episode.

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That we cannot have this conversation

without acknowledging that inequality and

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the impact it has on maternal mortality.

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One of the first things to

say is that pregnancy is not

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a easy ride for 90% of women.

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Whether that is the

change in your hormones.

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You may normally not experience, much

of a difference in your monthly cycle.

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You may, if you have ADHD,

Be somebody who experiences

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significant changes in hormones.

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Particularly PMDD.

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And you might think, well,

pregnancy is going to be great.

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I will not have that monthly cycle.

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True.

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but you might have

something else to deal with.

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And that's because

estrogen and progesterone.

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Reach new higher levels during pregnancy.

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And they're not just important

for helping your body to grow

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a baby, which let's face it.

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It's amazing.

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They're really important

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in your brain function

and your mood regulation.

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Often, if you have ADHD.

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A higher level of estrogen

would mean that you've got more

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dopamine, a more serotonin.

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It's one of the reasons why

most of my clients are women

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in perimenopause and menopause

because the estrogen is going away.

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It's taking the dopamine and serotonin

and they're leaving the party.

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And we're just being left with

all the cans and the crisp bags

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and things to pick up at the end.

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It's not fun.

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But during pregnancy, your estrogen

level becomes very, very high.

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So you will have more

dopamine and more serotonin.

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Regularly for those nine months.

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The problem is that progesterone can

be very difficult for some of us.

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And although it's meant to keep you calm

and it can improve things like sleep.

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For some people, it can also create a

low mood and depression during pregnancy

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is more common in the ADHD population.

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in the neuro divergent population.

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and, one of the things I found

during pregnancy was not only did

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I have daily migraines with auras.

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Not only did I have a daily

nosebleed after about four months?

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But I also found that my mood was very

fragile and it was incredibly stressful.

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Bebe was fine.

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Relationship is fine.

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Everything was great.

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But my mood really took a beating.

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so don't worry that something is wrong.

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If your mood is going up

and down during pregnancy.

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That is normal.

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but bear in mind with ADHD brains

we might be more sensitive to the

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fluctuation in hormones during pregnancy.

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Also.

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As pregnancy progresses.

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Sleeping becomes more difficult

physically, mentally you're

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anticipating the birth.

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Lots of people worry about the birth and.

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Physically it's harder

to sleep right you're

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you may be too hot.

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You may be too cold.

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It's hard to get comfortable your joints

are all nice and loose, which is perfect

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for delivering a baby through your pelvis.

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But it does mean that your back and

your hips can become very painful.

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To physical pain can stop you sleeping.

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And as we know.

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Sleep, affects, ADHD, significantly.

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The other thing we don't

talk about so much.

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Is the impact to an

emotional dysregulation?

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ADHD executive functions.

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One of them is emotional regulation.

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If we're pregnant.

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That is going to be much harder,

not just because of the physical

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difference in our brain.

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But now the hormones are coming into play.

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So it's more common to experience

mood swings, anxiety, to feel weepy.

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And even experience episodes of

depression, as I mentioned before.

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And if you are feeling depressed

during pregnancy, Don't worry that

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you have to keep it to yourself.

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Please tell your doctor your midwife.

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If you've got one and let them

know that this is affecting you.

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Because it does put you at more

risk for depression after the birth.

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Assuming that you are supported in

a loving family or relationship.

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Let them know that you are

experiencing a little bit.

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Don't keep it to yourself, whether

you're pregnant or afterwards.

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So think about.

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The positives and the negatives of

pregnancy for people with ADHD, for women.

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The most important one is that.

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We can experience more clarity

with extra estrogen and our brains.

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It could be something you've

waited for for a long time.

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It could be a time of great hope.

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Great possibility.

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So use pregnancy as a time to

practice giving yourself compassion.

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Giving yourself permission to create new

possible ideas and stories and routines.

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And if you can try to start a

mindfulness practice that works for you.

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I've said before.

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I do think that being in the present.

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Is incredibly powerful and very useful.

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Especially during pregnancy when we

quite often run ahead and think of all

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the things that are going to go wrong.

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how bad things are going to be.

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Practice being in the present.

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And not . Having any expectation

about the past or and future?

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And when you're pregnant,

especially for the first time.

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And you spent a lot of time

thinking about the birth.

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If you've had a negative

experience of birth.

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You may be very anxious about that.

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This is your second or third child.

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So it's normal to be preoccupied with the

idea of what happens when you give birth.

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I can only speak to my

personal experience in this.

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I used a program called hypno

babies, which I will include

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a link to in the show notes.

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And I don't know if it was just my type

of brain or the fact that I practiced it.

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Diligently because I was so determined to.

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Do well.

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, having a textbook birth.

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But I practice every day.

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And I had exactly the birth that I

wanted with an extra intervention

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at the end, which isn't a big deal.

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I had a 12 hour labour

with no painkillers.

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I didn't need any.

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It was incredibly powerful individually.

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Empowering.

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And.

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My baby was healthy.

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So for me, hypno babies

made pregnancy manageable.

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But it also made childbirth

something that I wasn't scared about.

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Because I understood the

physiological process so much better.

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So obviously within the context

of your personal experience and.

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Of and always keeping

safety of parent and BB.

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Mother and child at the top of

our list of what's important.

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You could experiment and think about

what would a good birth be like for me?

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So let's not worry about

births more than we have to.

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Instead let's think about what

happens after birth, because after

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birth is when the real fun begins.

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Now if your birth has gone well, and

you were back at home and you're safe.

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And it's still going to be

completely different because now,

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your entire day is focused on this.

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Tiny helpless human being.

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Who has only one way of

communicating with you.

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And that is quite loud..

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On top of that.

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There will be many women

who have experienced.

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Complications.

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in birth.

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And they may be recovering

from serious surgery.

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or they may have stitches,

which are uncomfortable.

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So we have the physical impact of birth.

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As well as the emotional, one of being

responsible for this tiny, tiny human.

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Then, add in the massive drop

in estrogen and progesterone.

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Which is frankly, a bit shocking.

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And it is very, very normal.

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For you to feel completely overwhelmed,

exhausted, tired, weepy, what

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they used to call the baby blues.

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And there's a difference between

that, which is the product of

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a drop in our hormone levels.

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And postnatal or postpartum depression.

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And.

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It's really important that you

have a few people around you.

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Who knew you well from before pregnancy?

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Who you trust and who have got your back.

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When you're going through this

first couple of weeks as those

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hormone levels, even out.

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. Bearing in mind, what we suspect,

which is the sensitivity of the

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ADHD or neurodivergent brain

to changing hormone levels.

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On the plus side.

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We have a massive surge

in oxytocin, which is a.

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Wonderful warm bonding, chemical.

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And it can help us to

regulate our emotions.

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And some people are more

sensitive to them than others.

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So you may feel that the oxytocin is kind

of balancing things are a little bit.

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It's not all negative, obviously.

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And hey, you've got this incredible

human being, who you are going to

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know for the rest of their knives.

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But bearing in mind.

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That research shows women with

ADHD are 40% more likely to

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experience postpartum depression.

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You need to keep an eye

out for those symptoms.

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and have a plan in place.

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First of all, you can

monitor your own mood.

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And I think it would be really, really

strange if we didn't experience a

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massive shift in how we feel given

that we've suddenly become parents.

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And we may have fairly difficult

or mixed ideas about what that

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means, what that means for our work

for our family, for our love life.

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For a future.

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So anticipate that your mood

is going to be variable.

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But also keep in mind that there has

to bea level at which you get support.

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If you go down and you stay down.

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And if your ADHD.

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Becomes almost unbearable and let's face.

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It would because you've now got

less estrogen and a huge, huge

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demand on your executive functions.

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You may need.

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To start your medication earlier.

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You might want to switch to a

non-stimulant type of medication,

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especially if you're breastfeeding.

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Because.

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It's more important that your baby has

a healthy, happy functioning parent.

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Than you struggling.

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And becoming depressed with breastfeeding.

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Now I know having done a lot of research

because it's me that breastfeeding is

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the most miraculous thing for babies.

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I also know from personal bitter

experience, how difficult it can be.

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I persisted probably way

beyond what I should have done

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but it did work in the end.

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I went to the LA Leche league.

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I had a lot of support from

my partner, from my family.

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But it was hard going.

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I think with hindsight.

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I might have chosen something different.

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If I had known.

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What the impact would be on me not being

able to sleep, not being able to feed.

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The problems that it caused for all of us.

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But that's my personal choice.

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And nobody else has a right to

tell you how to feed your baby.

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Yes, breastfeeding is incredible.

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But if it's hard, And you have

had support And you've had

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lactation consultant support.

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And it's still difficult.

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Please focus on being the most.

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Cared for most happy, most fulfilled.

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Person.

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You can be because that's

what your baby needs.

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They don't need a doormat.

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They don't need somebody who's

so exhausted and worn out.

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And who's miserable about who their

body is or is not performing because

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we know with ADHD, we ruminate?

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We are.

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Olympian champions.

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Of rumination.

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And I can tell you that.

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That path is not one.

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You want to go down.

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And of course we need to talk

about sleep after childbirth

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sleep is going to be affected.

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There are some people who can sleep.

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While their partner

takes care of the baby.

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And that is of course easier.

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If they're able to feed.

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And if you're expressing your milk.

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They can do it with that.

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Or you can offer up a feed.

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You can combine them.

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But.

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One of the reasons babies don't

sleep so much with their moms is

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because they can smell the food.

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So if you have somebody

who can help at nighttime.

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It's worth it.

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I'll be honest.

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If I had unlimited wealth, I

would employ a night nanny.

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Because I know that if I

don't get enough sleep.

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Oh, my goodness.

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And over time.

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That really affects your brain,

your mood, your cognition, your

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focus, because you have ADHD.

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Bear in mind.

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When I experienced pregnancy

and childbirth, I did not know

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why it was so difficult for me.

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now, With all my training.

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Information.

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Well, Oh, goodness, of course

you were going to find it.

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Really challenging.

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And I would say.

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I would do it again in a heartbeat.

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Because the human who emerged

from that pregnancy and who

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have the joy of living with.

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Made it all worthwhile.

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Even when I'm up at three in the

morning, cause she's vomiting..

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But think about how sleep is going to

affect your ADHD as well as your mood.

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And ADHD and mood cannot

be separated at this point.

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Can you share duties with your partner?

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Can you get somebody in to help overnight

somebody that you trust from your family?

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Somebody who's going to stay awake, or do

you want to try and sleep during the day?

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When the baby sleeps.

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There is the theory that you can do that.

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It didn't work for me, but if

you can, that's another option.

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Think about how you're going to bulk

up your sleep as much as you can.

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One of the ways you can think about.

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Making this passageway from

one type of life to another is

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to build a network of support.

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I found.

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Typical mother and baby

groups very difficult.

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Because I don't really do small talk.

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Or if I do it's in a way that

neuro-typical people find a bit confusing.

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And when I have met other

mothers that I get on with.

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Turns out.

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They're also neurodivergent.

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If you're finding.

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These kind of mum and baby groups

or pregnancy groups difficult

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don't feel bad about it.

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It's just a.

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Being pregnant on its own or

being a parent on your own.

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Isn't always enough for us

to be able to fit comfortably

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socially into these networks.

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Thankfully, no.

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16, 17 years later.

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: 00:16:57

There are more ADHD, friendly or

neuro- divergent, friendly groups.

349

: 00:17:01

If not online.

350

: 00:17:03

Then maybe in your local area.

351

: 00:17:05

And I will, of course include links

to any of them that I can find below.

352

: 00:17:09

If you run one of these groups

or you would like to set up one

353

: 00:17:12

of these groups, let me know.

354

: 00:17:14

I would be delighted to help

with doing that for you.

355

: 00:17:17

And remember this is new.

356

: 00:17:20

And although we tend to think people

with ADHD get bored very quickly.

357

: 00:17:24

We actually quite like

things to be the same.

358

: 00:17:28

And to be predictable up to a point.

359

: 00:17:31

Because there is safety right there,

safety in things being the same.

360

: 00:17:36

And now that you're a mother now

that you have this tiny human in

361

: 00:17:39

your house, everything's different.

362

: 00:17:41

But you will get used to it.

363

: 00:17:43

And it might be worth exploring.

364

: 00:17:46

How can you process that change?

365

: 00:17:49

I ended up going to art therapy.

366

: 00:17:52

I had postnatal depression.

367

: 00:17:54

I didn't recognize it

as such for six months.

368

: 00:17:57

It was very difficult.

369

: 00:17:59

And when I finally got help,

I went to an art therapy group

370

: 00:18:04

provided by a local charity.

371

: 00:18:06

Which was the best thing I've ever done.

372

: 00:18:09

It worked for me because it took

the pressure off producing a

373

: 00:18:13

perfect picture, a perfect painting.

374

: 00:18:15

And it just allowed me to.

375

: 00:18:16

Process what I was feeling inside.

376

: 00:18:19

So if you're needing that kind of

support, Have a look around and see if

377

: 00:18:23

there are different kinds of therapy.

378

: 00:18:26

That you might be able to access.

379

: 00:18:28

You might want to do something

like a practical activity.

380

: 00:18:32

I found art therapy.

381

: 00:18:33

Good.

382

: 00:18:34

But there are also groups who do

therapeutic gardening or therapeutic

383

: 00:18:38

walking, where you have the

space to process your feelings.

384

: 00:18:42

While you're doing something because

that does make it easier sometimes.

385

: 00:18:46

And as time goes on, don't forget.

386

: 00:18:49

You're going to be.

387

: 00:18:50

Amazed and amused by the small person.

388

: 00:18:54

I remember being amazed

when I started to get.

389

: 00:18:58

Um, we did baby signing when she

started to do sign language back.

390

: 00:19:02

And.

391

: 00:19:03

I suddenly realized this incredible

small person was going to be.

392

: 00:19:08

My companion.

393

: 00:19:09

for.

394

: 00:19:10

The next few years, and I would get

to see them learn all this stuff.

395

: 00:19:14

And as someone who's top one or two

of my strengths is love of learning.

396

: 00:19:18

That was brilliant.

397

: 00:19:20

So I get to watch and enjoy

them learning at the same time.

398

: 00:19:24

And let's think about what your life.

399

: 00:19:27

As a new parent, especially a new mother.

400

: 00:19:29

Because let's be honest, women still

do most of the work with tiny babies.

401

: 00:19:33

It's going to look like and how

that's going to affect your ADHD.

402

: 00:19:37

We've spoken a lot about

executive functions, planning.

403

: 00:19:40

Organizing time awareness.

404

: 00:19:42

Managing all these thoughts, the working

memory, the emotional regulation.

405

: 00:19:47

As you can imagine that is intensified.

406

: 00:19:51

When you are also doing

it for somebody else.

407

: 00:19:53

And the first thing that I found.

408

: 00:19:56

And that I hope you find.

409

: 00:19:58

Is that.

410

: 00:19:59

Nobody's happy unless you're happy.

411

: 00:20:01

So early on.

412

: 00:20:03

Recognize that.

413

: 00:20:04

Maybe the models you saw growing

up, aren't going to work for you.

414

: 00:20:08

You're going to have to

do things your own way.

415

: 00:20:10

But you can figure it out.

416

: 00:20:12

I 100% believe we can all figure it out.

417

: 00:20:16

With enough support.

418

: 00:20:18

And once you've emerged from the

first awe of the six to eight weeks.

419

: 00:20:23

After baby's arrived and come home.

420

: 00:20:25

The main things you're going to find.

421

: 00:20:27

That you have to manage our things

like planning food, laundry.

422

: 00:20:32

Appointments meetings.

423

: 00:20:34

So that time piece.

424

: 00:20:36

You're also going to have all this

extra stuff and babies come with

425

: 00:20:40

an incredible amount of stuff.

426

: 00:20:41

If you let them.

427

: 00:20:42

So the household organization

is also going to be.

428

: 00:20:46

Increasingly demanding.

429

: 00:20:47

And then there's going to be the

question around, how do we parent.

430

: 00:20:51

Do we allow the baby to

cry themselves to sleep.

431

: 00:20:54

And the data suggests that it's

not great for their brains.

432

: 00:20:57

But that should have choice.

433

: 00:20:59

Or are we.

434

: 00:21:00

kind of, co-regulation,

very bonded parents.

435

: 00:21:04

Are we picking them up?

436

: 00:21:06

Are we making sure that they're.

437

: 00:21:08

You know, there's this

attachment style of parenting.

438

: 00:21:11

That's the executive function piece.

439

: 00:21:13

And.

440

: 00:21:14

We are going to look at time

management in a few episodes.

441

: 00:21:17

I think it's maybe kind of May, we're

looking at time and time management.

442

: 00:21:22

But think about.

443

: 00:21:23

What is essential.

444

: 00:21:24

Because there's going to be a hundred

things that you could do - . But

445

: 00:21:27

what is the essential thing to do?

446

: 00:21:29

Right now.

447

: 00:21:30

Don't worry about anything else.

448

: 00:21:32

Babies are joyous.

449

: 00:21:33

They live entirely in the moment.

450

: 00:21:35

What can we learn from them?

451

: 00:21:37

And if you've got somebody

else around to help you.

452

: 00:21:41

What can they take on?

453

: 00:21:43

Partner's parents.

454

: 00:21:44

This is your chance to step up.

455

: 00:21:47

Don't forget your working

memory is going to be impacted

456

: 00:21:50

by the oestrogen disappearing.

457

: 00:21:52

So.

458

: 00:21:52

Makes the most use of.

459

: 00:21:54

Visual supports.

460

: 00:21:55

Whiteboards.

461

: 00:21:56

Chalkboards.

462

: 00:21:58

Calendars.

463

: 00:21:59

Reminders on your phone, reminders

on your wrist from your watch.

464

: 00:22:03

Lean into that scaffolding

as much as you can.

465

: 00:22:06

Because that takes the pressure

off your working memory.

466

: 00:22:10

And although we might not

feel like we like routines.

467

: 00:22:13

There are studies that show.

468

: 00:22:15

ADHD parents experience less stress.

469

: 00:22:18

If they have a highly structured routine.

470

: 00:22:20

So what kind of routine works for you?

471

: 00:22:23

Obviously begin with the foundations.

472

: 00:22:25

When do we get up?

473

: 00:22:26

When do we go to bed?

474

: 00:22:28

How are we going to be providing meals?

475

: 00:22:30

Are there ways that you can

access prepared meals so that

476

: 00:22:33

you're spending less time?

477

: 00:22:34

Doing that and that maybe

somebody else offers to.

478

: 00:22:38

Take that task on in the household.

479

: 00:22:40

When you're thinking about all the

extra stuff that the baby comes with.

480

: 00:22:44

Use ADHD, friendly strategies.

481

: 00:22:46

This is very personal.

482

: 00:22:48

But there are two almost competing things

happening in ADHD household organization.

483

: 00:22:54

One is if we can't see

it, it doesn't exist.

484

: 00:22:57

Or we forget about it.

485

: 00:22:59

I have three copies of one book.

486

: 00:23:01

But the other side of that is.

487

: 00:23:03

Visual clutter.

488

: 00:23:04

Not only drains your energy, but

it stimulates your stress and your.

489

: 00:23:09

Agitation.

490

: 00:23:10

There are very few people

who don't feel calmer.

491

: 00:23:13

in a decluttered calm environment.

492

: 00:23:16

The my favorite tip.

493

: 00:23:18

And I use this doesn't

matter what age you are.

494

: 00:23:20

have what you need.

495

: 00:23:21

At the point that you need it.

496

: 00:23:23

That might mean that you have scissors.

497

: 00:23:26

At each point where you

need a pair of scissors.

498

: 00:23:29

And have them in a box.

499

: 00:23:30

And they don't leave that spot.

500

: 00:23:32

Because you don't need to

take them somewhere else and

501

: 00:23:34

put them down on the way.

502

: 00:23:36

they are where you need them.

503

: 00:23:37

And that's the one thing that I would

recommend everything else is up for grabs.

504

: 00:23:41

Work out what your

personal balances between.

505

: 00:23:43

I need to be able to see things,

but I also need no clutter.

506

: 00:23:47

My favorite is curtains

in front of wardrobes.

507

: 00:23:50

I know where things are, but

I'm not overwhelmed by the

508

: 00:23:53

clutter and the visual noise.

509

: 00:23:55

And the other thing to think about is.

510

: 00:23:57

And parenting.

511

: 00:23:59

Ideally, if you are sharing parenting

with somebody else, you've had

512

: 00:24:02

this discussion before BB arrives.

513

: 00:24:05

Be aware you might need to be

flexible to meet your child's needs.

514

: 00:24:09

I had a wonderful, , lactation consultant.

515

: 00:24:12

She's very famous in the local

area called Carla Napier.

516

: 00:24:15

And she said there are

two kinds of babies.

517

: 00:24:18

There are fireball babies

and potato babies..

518

: 00:24:21

I had a fireball.

519

: 00:24:23

Personally, I'm more of a potato.

520

: 00:24:25

So you can imagine how that went.

521

: 00:24:27

Uh, it was quite a shock to the system.

522

: 00:24:30

But if you have a fireball.

523

: 00:24:32

Trying to force them into a routine

that suits a different kind of baby.

524

: 00:24:37

Is going to great stress for both of you.

525

: 00:24:39

So, how can you meet

the needs of the baby?

526

: 00:24:41

while also making sure that you meet the

next things we're going to talk about.

527

: 00:24:46

Which are looking after yourself.

528

: 00:24:49

And that's a game.

529

: 00:24:50

That's a dance is something

that's going to develop.

530

: 00:24:53

as they go through different stages,

but try to allow some flexibility

531

: 00:24:58

into your approach to parenting.

532

: 00:25:00

Whatever your ideas were before BB

arrived, they're going to change.

533

: 00:25:04

Most importantly, Communication

between you and your partner.

534

: 00:25:09

If there is one around.

535

: 00:25:10

And your baby, keep it open.

536

: 00:25:12

Keep it consistent.

537

: 00:25:13

Keep it calm.

538

: 00:25:15

And focus on c0- regulation.

539

: 00:25:17

If you start co-regulating

with your baby early.

540

: 00:25:20

Things going to be a much easier

when you get into the toddler years.

541

: 00:25:23

I

542

: 00:25:23

finally think about maintaining yourself.

543

: 00:25:28

Care.

544

: 00:25:28

Your personal wellbeing.

545

: 00:25:30

When people say self care,

they tend to think about.

546

: 00:25:33

bubble baths, Or.

547

: 00:25:35

Candles and meditation journaling.

548

: 00:25:37

For some people with ADHD, it might

mean making sure you have time to go

549

: 00:25:41

for a walk every day or that you can

go back to the gym or go swimming.

550

: 00:25:46

Exercise is so important for us.

551

: 00:25:48

And it's something that I neglected

in the first couple of years.

552

: 00:25:51

Don't do that.

553

: 00:25:52

don't make a mistake guided.

554

: 00:25:54

And make sure that you're making time.

555

: 00:25:57

This isn't a uh, vanity thing.

556

: 00:25:59

Exercise can be as powerful as medication

for people with ADHD in the short term.

557

: 00:26:06

You know, just after you've

done it for a few hours.

558

: 00:26:08

If you're not able to take

medication for awhile.

559

: 00:26:12

Made sure that you've got time for

exercise because it's great for your brain

560

: 00:26:16

as well as it being good for your body.

561

: 00:26:18

And you can take baby

out with you if you want.

562

: 00:26:21

Or have someone watch them and

have that time to yourself.

563

: 00:26:25

It's not being selfish.

564

: 00:26:26

As I said before, if you're

not well, and you're not happy.

565

: 00:26:30

Baby's not going to be happy.

566

: 00:26:32

And we know that.

567

: 00:26:33

There's a constellation of genes

that are involved with ADHD.

568

: 00:26:37

The idea is some, some changes in

the environment sometimes trigger.

569

: 00:26:42

The impact of ADHD.

570

: 00:26:44

To be felt.

571

: 00:26:45

And it's why I often think people with.

572

: 00:26:47

Really difficult, challenging,

traumatic, stressful environments.

573

: 00:26:52

Can expedience ADHD so

much more intensely.

574

: 00:26:56

And it is so much more disabling.

575

: 00:26:59

Don't forget 25% of the prison population

meets the diagnostic threshold, ADHD.

576

: 00:27:05

So you are protecting

your child's wellbeing.

577

: 00:27:09

In the future by looking after yourself.

578

: 00:27:12

And being able to take care of yourself.

579

: 00:27:14

With exercise.

580

: 00:27:16

Managing your sleep.

581

: 00:27:17

Making sure you're keeping in

touch with friends as far as

582

: 00:27:21

possible, making new friends, maybe.

583

: 00:27:23

And of course.

584

: 00:27:25

Getting in touch with

people who can support you.

585

: 00:27:27

There might be a local

group and mercy local.

586

: 00:27:30

I mean, And your ear or online.

587

: 00:27:33

That is ideal for you.

588

: 00:27:35

not just as a new parent, but as

somebody who has their own interests.

589

: 00:27:40

Remember that your interest based brain.

590

: 00:27:43

Needs to have that stimulation.

591

: 00:27:45

And I have made a long list.

592

: 00:27:48

I only have made a list of organizations.

593

: 00:27:51

And support groups in the show

notes, and I will include them

594

: 00:27:54

in the blog in due course.

595

: 00:27:56

That you can contact.

596

: 00:27:57

Before and after you become a parent,

597

: 00:28:00

This has been quite a direct episode

and I've maybe shared a bit more

598

: 00:28:04

of my own personal story here.

599

: 00:28:06

Uh, I hope it was useful.

600

: 00:28:08

And then usual.

601

: 00:28:09

I do want you to remember.

602

: 00:28:11

Being a parent.

603

: 00:28:12

Can be the most powerful.

604

: 00:28:15

Exciting interesting stage in your life.

605

: 00:28:18

You do not have to do it

the way other people do it.

606

: 00:28:22

Take what is useful and leave the rest.

607

: 00:28:25

Learn about things like

declarative language.

608

: 00:28:28

Learn about co-regulation.

609

: 00:28:30

Personally, I would include baby sign

language because it was fantastic

610

: 00:28:35

for us, but it's a personal thing.

611

: 00:28:37

But if you're able to co-regulate

model self regulation and good care

612

: 00:28:42

for yourself in front of your baby.

613

: 00:28:45

You're going to have so much fun.

614

: 00:28:47

With this we human being.

615

: 00:28:49

I can guarantee you, they will amaze you.

616

: 00:28:51

And you will amaze yourself.

617

: 00:28:54

Because when you become a parent,

That's your opportunity to

618

: 00:28:58

become a new, amazing person.

619

: 00:29:02

It's your opportunity.

620

: 00:29:04

To reach new levels of

insight into how you work.

621

: 00:29:08

What you need.

622

: 00:29:09

how the world works and share

that with somebody else.

623

: 00:29:13

Don't forget.

624

: 00:29:14

Think of your character strengths,

do your via character strengths test.

625

: 00:29:18

I have it printed out.

626

: 00:29:19

So you don't need to try and

remember it off the cuff.

627

: 00:29:21

And think about that

when you're parenting.

628

: 00:29:24

Use them every day as well.

629

: 00:29:26

Most of all, remember to be compassionate.

630

: 00:29:29

Thank you again.

631

: 00:29:30

For joining me this week on ADHD.

632

: 00:29:32

Powerful possibilities.

633

: 00:29:34

Next week we are going through

perimenopause and menopause.

634

: 00:29:38

Yes.

635

: 00:29:38

I know I have spoken about this before,

but there are some different pieces

636

: 00:29:42

of information I would like to share.

637

: 00:29:44

I will include a link to the previous

one down below in the show notes as well.

638

: 00:29:48

I cannot wait.

639

: 00:29:50

To be with you again next week.

640

: 00:29:52

Please share this episode, if it's

useful for you or for anybody in

641

: 00:29:56

your family in your friend network.

642

: 00:29:59

I remember.

643

: 00:30:00

Think about what's possible.

644

: 00:30:02

And take care of yourself.