ADHD, Perimenopause & Menopause: Other Options - embracing your crone energy?

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Welcome back.

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My friend.

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It is.

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ADHD.

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Powerful possibilities and I am your

host and friend Coach Katherine.

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It is wonderful to be back with you after.

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The cold hit.

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Our entire household and this

time last week, I could not talk.

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So I'm really happy to be back.

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This week we are exploring.

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Fresh information for us about ADHD

and perimenopause and menopause.

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It's the end of a series of four

podcasts, looking at the kind of

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journey from childhood through puberty.

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through teens through.

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Pregnancy and child

birth into perimenopause.

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And this week I'm also sharing.

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My very first guest episode with the.

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Wonderful.

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Dr.

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Kathleen Nadeau Who wrote

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still distracted after all these years.

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And if you buy any book about ADHD,

That is the one that I would recommend

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for men and women, for people of any

ages still distracted after all these

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years is a really fantastic book.

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That explores the impact of ADHD.

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As we get older.

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And I thought it would be lovely

to round off this little series.

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With an interview with somebody who

I've looked up to for years and who

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was at the forefront of research.

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On the impact of ADHD and women.

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At the time when it wasn't

even widely accepted that.

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The girls and women could have ADHD.

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So this week, we're going to focus

on perimenopause and menopause,

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and I will include a link to the

last episode I did about menopause.

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Because I think it's something

that bears repeating.

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There's a lot of talk about

HRT and about medication.

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But not all of us can take HRT and not

all of us are able to access medication.

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And supplies of both

have been unpredictable.

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I think it's worth exploring

what other aspects can we control

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or influence in our lives?

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That will improve how we feel

during menopause and perimenopause.

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But also acknowledging that.

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Scientists are doing research now

that shows the impact on our brain

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of our changing hormonal landscape.

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And I was shocked.

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How much dopamine production disappears.

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As our estrogen declines.

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And there's some research showing

that if you don't introduce HRT or

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exogenous hormones within a year of

the menopause actually starting, which

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is one year after your last period.

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Within two or three years.

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Up to half of your estrogen

production cells, which are

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faked your dopamine have gone.

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They're not coming back on.

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So even if you start.

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HRT later It's not going to be the same.

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We often think of perimenopause as

something that happens in your forties,

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but it can start to read it's head in

the thirties, which is why a lot of

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women in their thirties are recognizing

that there may be not coping with

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day-to-day life in the same way as

they were they might notice that

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their periods are more unpredictable.

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There may be a bit heavier.

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And a lot of us put things like that.

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down to stress because

you're likely to be working.

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You may have other responsibilities.

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You may have a family to care for.

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And it's easy to shrug your shoulders

and say, oh I'm getting older and one of

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the main reasons that I've spent so long

focusing on the journey of women with

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ADHD is because we do have the additional

challenge of fluctuating hormones.

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Which our brothers with ADHD.

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do not have to deal with.

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And it makes life extra

challenging for us.

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Let's be honest because we know

now that estrogen production is

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directly connected to dopamine.

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And that's why many of us find that

in that week or two before our period.

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Our medication just doesn't work so well.

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It's not that the medication

doesn't work so well.

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Our need for extra dopamine our

need for extra medication increases

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because we have lower dopamine.

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And in a recent studies that I will

include links to in the show notes.

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That confirm that.

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Increasing our medication

temporarily in the.

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Luteal phase.

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Can improve our day-to-day

lives, our experience of

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managing our executive functions.

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Our disability because

ADHD is a disability.

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From most people, at

least some of the time.

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And.

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When you go into menopause,

the question is, what do we do?

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Do we increase our

medication consistently?

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Do we try and use hormone

replacement therapy.

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And what if we can't access

one or the other of those.

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There are conflicting studies.

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Showing HRT, either benefiting.

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Long-term brain health.

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Avoiding dementia and risks like that.

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And then there are a couple of other

studies which appear to show the opposite.

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And suggest that taking HRT.

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Can make your risk of dementia rise.

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This isn't that kind of to podcast.

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We're only going to talk

about HRT and ADHD.

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But that's a conversation you need

to have with your doctor with a

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qualified medical professional.

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And I would be very careful to

check who you're talking to.

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When you are.

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Assessing the risk and benefit of

HRT just as you would with the risks

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and benefits of ADHD medication.

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The other thing to bear in mind

is that with hormone replacement

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therapy, unless you have had.

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a hysterectomy you will still have

your womb, your uterus and ovaries.

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And there's a good reason to keep

your ovaries because they do appear

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to have a protective, beneficial

effect, even past menopause.

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But if you have your uterus and

ovaries, you will need to take

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progesterone as well as estrogen.

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And that balance can take

some time to get right.

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And you might need a different

kind of progesterone.

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bear in mind it's not a simple

takes a prescription and

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off you go into the sunset.

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You might need to make

adjustments as you go along.

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And the different kinds of

HR T whether that's a gel.

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Patch tablet.

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These can also have an effect

on how you're absorbing it.

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What the side effects are and

whether it suits you or not.

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But at the moment, there isn't

any research I could find.

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Directly looking at the impact of hormone

replacement therapy on ADHD medication.

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And I did spend quite

a bit of time looking.

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There's.

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It's very difficult.

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To get funding for that type of very

specific research and it can take time.

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Wherever you decide to do the most

important thing is to make sure you're

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monitoring and recording, how you feel.

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Where the side effects are.

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You've got somebody keeping an eye on your

blood pressure and your overall health.

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Because I do know that anecdotally,

lots of women with ADHD who try

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hormone replacement therapy report.

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And to begin with until things are.

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Settle down.

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They can have more experience of

mood swings and that tracks for

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me because of the sensitivity.

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That we seem to have towards.

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Average levels of hormones.

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During a regular cycle.

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One of the reasons I mentioned Dr.

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Nadeau at the start is because her

book still distracted after all

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these years includes an acronym.

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MENDSS which I have decided is going

to be the cornerstone of my life going

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forward, but also includes things are

beneficial for us when we're going

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through perimenopause and menopause.

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The simple interventions

are not the easy ones.

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It may feel.

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Too simple.

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To say something like improving

your sleep can help your.

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Experience of menopause.

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But that's because it's

not easy and upfront.

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I'm going to see these things

are simple, but they're not

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always easy or straightforward.

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And some of that is down to the physical

side effects of peri-menopause and ADHD.

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And some of that is down to

our unique circumstances and

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privilege or lack of privilege.

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The elements of MENDSS, which

are relevant for us here.

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are things like diet.

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And.

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Particularly looking at protein.

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And omega three.

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Fatty acids.

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And we know that.

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The right amount of omega three can help

with cognition, with your thinking,

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as well as your emotional regulation.

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But we also know that.

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As we get older, as we're busy,

we tend to drop off a little bit.

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on the focus on.

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Making sure we get plenty of

fruit, vegetables, protein,

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and a more balanced diet.

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So it doesn't need to be extreme.

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But focusing on that type

of basic whole food diet.

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When possible.

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Can make a real difference to

how you experience menopause.

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And this is particularly important

in the context of privilege.

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Because there are ways

to make that easier.

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And.

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There are ways to make that cheaper.

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The ways to make it convenient

are not always the most cheap.

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Or easy to access.

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And so your unique circumstance

and constellation of factors.

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will come into how you approach

things like changing your diet.

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But I would say that it is the most

impactful thing you can do apart

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from the next one, which is exercise.

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Yes again, exercise.

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In perimenopause and

menopause, it's different.

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We're not aiming for extremely

intense aerobic exercise.

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We're not aiming for the

same type of program.

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It's more an emphasis on.

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Building up your muscles.

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Because that will counteract both the.

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Perceived to decline in

your And your metabolism.

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It also means you're reducing

your risk of osteoporosis.

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And the more muscle you have the.

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Generally better, your body works.

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So in perimenopause and menopause,

It would be wise to move

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away from focusing on cardio.

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On its own.

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Making sure that you have at least two

to three sessions of weight bearing

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resistance exercise every week.

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And I will include links to two coaches.

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I know online in the UK and

one in the states who are

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particularly relevant in this area.

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They are just people.

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I know who I respect.

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There's nothing beyond it.

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This isn't diary of a CEO.

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And the reason you want to include

some aerobic exercise is because

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it's very good for your brain,

for your executive functions.

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So while resistance exercises.

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Magnificent for your body

and for your longterm health.

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The aerobic exercise helps your

brain to stay healthy and active.

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And combining both of them.

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Is wonderful.

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There was a controversy this

week with someone taking issue.

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On one of these elastic band,

bungee type of exercise classes.

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And berating women for doing anything

rather than taking action in the gym.

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Personally, I think it looks wonderful

because the most important thing about

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exercise is what it does for your mood.

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And anyone who's gone through

perimenopause and menopause

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will tell you your mood.

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will be volatile.

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It's almost like you're going

through puberty at the other end.

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And of course the other thing

that changes as we go through

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puberty is our ability to sleep.

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We might.

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We might have been children who resisted

sleep and then sleep all the time.

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And perimenopause and menopause

are sleep changes again.

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Our need for sleep may decrease

slightly, but our ability to get

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a good sleep changes radically.

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Now f or me, this is the hardest one

personally, because my ADHD brain

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wakes up about four in the morning.

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And if my sleep is disturbed,

for instance, if I'm too hot

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and I'm very uncomfortable.

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If my brain wakes up at that point, then.

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It's very difficult for

me to get back to sleep.

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I'm just going to get up and start work.

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If that's you.

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We need to think about

moving bed team further back.

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And sleep is so important

for your mental health.

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For your physical brain health.

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The way that our brains are cleaned.

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At night.

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I will include links to some wonderful

studies I've been looking at about how

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important it is to get that sleep for

your long-term brain health but also

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emotionally, we need to feel rested.

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We need to feel recovered.

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And I think the hardest thing for

lots of people in perimenopause

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and menopause is that.

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Exactly the moment you need more sleep.

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And more rest.

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Your body decides?

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Nope.

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We're going to wake up at a hot sweat.

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We are going to have leg cramps.

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We are going to be constantly

aching, and your joints is

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connected to your menopause and.

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The lack of estrogen as well.

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And obviously the.

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The things that we can do

about that are limited.

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Medication in this instance,

doesn't really help because

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it just makes you unconscious.

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The physiological process of sleep.

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Isn't the one that you experience

when you're taking sleeping tablets.

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As far as possible, we want to front load

success with sleep and that includes.

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Making sure we are away from electronics?

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Making sure that we go

to bed at the same time.

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Crucially get up at the same time

every day and ideally see daylight

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as quickly as possible for me that.

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7:00 AM start every day of the week.

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with when it's not pouring rain,

a coffee outside with my dogs.

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And that does seem to help quite a lot.

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But the next step for me is making sure

that I am getting to bed early enough.

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And I'm actually trialing one

of these phone safes, where

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you lock your phone away.

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So you can't touch it.

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Because for me, it's not.

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Emotionally I'm connected

to it, but it's a habit.

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The picking up the scrolling is a habit.

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So I'm changing that I will

let you know how that goes.

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But see what works for you and identify

if you can where are the things that

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are getting between you and sleep.

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' cause I feel like that is

the foundation for everything

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else that we're trying to do.

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And of course.

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A bit of mindfulness.

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A bit of presence.

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A bit of being mindful

in the present moment.

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Moving mindfulness.

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These are all very helpful because

they reduce our levels of stressour

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cortisol response goes down.

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And.

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Again, We experience higher levels

of stress, physical stress during

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perimenopause and menopause.

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Which has a significant health impact.

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And can mess up your sleep.

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So it's almost like this wonderful

wheel of things that can go

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wrong, but also things that are.

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Potentially within our power to make

changes in one element at a time.

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And I wanted to talk a

little bit today about.

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Therapy and coaching during

perimenopause and menopause.

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If you have ADHD.

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CBT cognitive behavioral

therapy, high school.

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A very negative reputation at

the moment, among many people and

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the ADHD and autism community.

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I can understand why.

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Because there are some elements of it,

which are not particularly friendly

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to our way of seeing the world and.

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The basis is what you think.

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It influences your behavior.

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And.

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They're asking us to change our

thoughts to change our behavior.

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For many people with autism and ADHD.

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We feel things in our bodies.

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And then we experienced a

thought and the emotion.

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And the sensation comes

before the thought.

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And then asking us to change

our thinking or a thought.

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Either it doesn't connect, it doesn't

work for us, or it feels like it's an

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invalidation of what we're experiencing.

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So that is one of the reasons

why some people find CBT.

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To be unhelpful.

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However, I would say that Sensitive

an experienced CBT practitioner.

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With enough information about ADHD.

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Perhaps they also have ADHD or autism.

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Can offer a really well structured plan.

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For dealing with the practical

implications of ADHD and Dr.

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Susan Young, who I've mentioned before.

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Has written a lot about

how to CBT, practically and

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sensitively for people with ADHD.

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But you might want to explore something

like DBT, which is an offshoot of CBT.

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Or even acceptance and commitment

therapy, which is again, A

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different form of therapy.

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But how are those related to coaching?

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So ADHD coaching is very much

focused on making positive changes.

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And I don't mean positive as in the

smiley hearts and flowers type of.

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Toxic positivity.

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In the practical sense.

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It's about moving forward.

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And it operates from a position

of all things being well.

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And although it may not feel like

it perimenopause and menopause

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are normal stages of life.

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Where we're experiencing problems that

could be supported by changes that we

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maybe struggled to make on our own.

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ADHD coaching can help

you to meet those changes.

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But in a way it works for you.

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And it's very personalized.

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Therapy would be looking at be looking

at something like your limiting beliefs

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and your negative thought patterns.

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And there are elements of that

was in ADHD coaching because we do

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have to recognize when they pop up.

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And one of my jobs is to catch that story.

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That belief for you.

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I don't change it.

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That's the job of yourself.

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And therapy.

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With ADHD coaching.

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We have an element of that.

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Where it's impacting things like

managing your routine about going to bed.

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: 00:18:59

Is there something getting in

your way of going to bed on time?

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: 00:19:02

If it's a therapeutic issue, then we pass

that back to a therapist or counselor.

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: 00:19:07

But if it's a.

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: 00:19:08

Simple one where we can have a look at it.

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: 00:19:11

Identify what's in your way.

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: 00:19:13

And then come up with a more joyful.

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Possible alternative.

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That's a coaching process.

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And I do think there's a great

value in having a partner.

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in an ADHD.

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: 00:19:25

Coach.

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Because.

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It's an equal relationship.

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I I'm somebody who's studied it a

lot, but I'm just a human being.

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: 00:19:33

And

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Ethical guidelines and boundaries

aside I'm a partner, not a leader.

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: 00:19:39

The benefits of ADHD coaching.

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: 00:19:42

And that partnership is that

you have a companion while you.

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: 00:19:46

You go through these changes.

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: 00:19:48

And they can allow you to reflect.

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: 00:19:51

On what's happening and you will

have insights that you may be don't

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: 00:19:55

have time for in day to day life.

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: 00:19:58

And one of our jobs is to

give you that space and time.

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: 00:20:01

To identify things.

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: 00:20:03

Your brain is recognizing, but you

don't have the opportunity to ponder.

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: 00:20:08

And to adjust.

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: 00:20:10

And of course.

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: 00:20:11

Another benefit of having a

coaching partner is we can

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: 00:20:14

support you to self-compassion.

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: 00:20:17

And those sort of practical self care.

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: 00:20:20

Practices.

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: 00:20:21

in place.

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: 00:20:22

And it's difficult without a partner.

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: 00:20:25

who gives you that time and space.

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: 00:20:27

And who gives you that

focus and attention?

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: 00:20:30

That.

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: 00:20:30

Unquestioning acceptance and support.

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: 00:20:33

To process a lot of the emotional changes.

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: 00:20:36

And it allows you to build up the

self-compassion because somebody else is

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: 00:20:41

going to model that compassion for you.

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: 00:20:43

And then you will start to

recognize it when you're using

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: 00:20:48

those words and those ideas.

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: 00:20:50

With yourself.

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: 00:20:51

And that is.

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: 00:20:53

Incredibly powerful.

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: 00:20:54

Because very often.

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: 00:20:56

By the time you're in

perimenopause and menopause.

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: 00:20:59

You are the person who's

doing that for other people.

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: 00:21:02

There may not be much space for it.

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: 00:21:04

With others.

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: 00:21:05

If you have friends.

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: 00:21:07

Who are wonderful and accepting.

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: 00:21:09

There lately to be just as busy.

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: 00:21:11

As you are the thinly spread jam

in the middle of the sandwich.

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: 00:21:16

And a coach allows you to

have, and hold that space.

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: 00:21:20

At the same time, if

things are going well.

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: 00:21:23

It doesn't feel like you need to

drag something up to be fixed.

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: 00:21:27

Because coaching assumes

that you are already whole.

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: 00:21:31

And capable and creative and resourceful.

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: 00:21:34

And our job is to.

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: 00:21:35

Hold that mirror up and reflect all the

good, amazing stuff that we see back.

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: 00:21:41

So you can identify it to.

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: 00:21:43

Building and self-compassion

does take practice, but it is.

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: 00:21:47

So powerful.

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: 00:21:48

When it comes to.

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: 00:21:50

Accepting and moving through

this next stage of life.

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: 00:21:54

I used a phrase earlier today.

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: 00:21:56

Embracing your crone energy.

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: 00:21:58

There's a lot of talk about main

character energy, but if you've ever

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: 00:22:03

heard of the mother maiden crone

idea, All of the stages of womanhood.

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: 00:22:09

When you enter menopause, you are

officially in your crone era but there's

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: 00:22:13

a freedom and that power there, which is

so different from any other state in life.

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: 00:22:20

And to allow yourself to embrace that.

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: 00:22:23

Gently with compassion as you transition

from the mother into the crone.

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: 00:22:30

Can be a challenge.

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: 00:22:32

And that's a good reason to have

either a social support network

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: 00:22:37

friends who had at the same point

or someone like a thinking partner.

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: 00:22:41

A coach, a counselor or someone.

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: 00:22:43

Who can accompany you and allow you to.

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: 00:22:46

Decide what that looks like for you.

442

: 00:22:48

But when do you look

for professional help?

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: 00:22:51

Personally, I think you need

to make friends with your GP.

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: 00:22:55

If you have a gynaecoloist in the states.

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: 00:22:57

Make sure you have someone who

acknowledges the reality of the

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: 00:23:02

challenges of menopause and that

these are avoidable for lots of women.

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: 00:23:06

Who doesn't just tell you

to go away and lose weight.

448

: 00:23:10

The same in the UK.

449

: 00:23:11

If your GP just told you to

go away and go on a diet.

450

: 00:23:14

And it doesn't check your thyroid,

your iron levels, your blood pressure.

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: 00:23:19

These things.

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: 00:23:20

Find someone who does.

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: 00:23:22

And I'm aware that in the

context of the health service

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: 00:23:25

in the UK, that is not easy.

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: 00:23:27

I'm not bashing doctors.

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: 00:23:29

They're all facing a very difficult time.

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: 00:23:32

but you don't have to suffer.

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: 00:23:34

And if your mood is persistently low, if

you're feeling constantly anxious, if it's

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: 00:23:40

anxiety, that's waking you up at night,

rather than your regular busy ADHD brain.

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: 00:23:46

That is a very good point to

go and speak with your doctor.

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: 00:23:49

Many people have told me that HRT

resolve that anxiety for them.

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: 00:23:54

But it may be that you need

to look at something else.

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: 00:23:57

And that's why it's great to have

a checkup, an mot, if you like.

464

: 00:24:03

And if you're looking for

support around exercise around

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: 00:24:06

nutrition, any of these things.

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: 00:24:08

Find people who really

know what it's like.

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: 00:24:12

Again, I'll include links below to a few

professionals that I trust and respect.

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: 00:24:18

And remember that you are.

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: 00:24:20

The only person who's going to

experience your constellation

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: 00:24:24

of ADHD and menopause symptoms.

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: 00:24:28

So if other people have horror

stories, It's awful, but you don't

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: 00:24:32

necessarily have to go through that.

473

: 00:24:34

And if you are having a really difficult

time, And things like diet and sleep and

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: 00:24:41

nutrition and exercise are beyond you.

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: 00:24:44

Because of your ADHD.

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: 00:24:45

Get that treated first, get that

support first, because very often.

477

: 00:24:51

And the same way as

antidepressants allow a.

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: 00:24:53

Person who's experiencing

depression to engage.

479

: 00:24:57

And be supported with therapy.

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: 00:24:59

Sometimes we need the ADHD medication

first, so we can make the lifestyle

481

: 00:25:05

changes that are essential.

482

: 00:25:08

And then it becomes this wonderful circle

of ever improving health and wellbeing.

483

: 00:25:14

Although this was a very

short episode today.

484

: 00:25:16

I want to flag up the

other menopause episode.

485

: 00:25:20

And thank you again for listening.

486

: 00:25:22

We're moving on to pastures

new and looking at.

487

: 00:25:25

The executive functions more globally.

488

: 00:25:28

So things that will affect

your day-to-day life at home

489

: 00:25:31

and in work.

490

: 00:25:33

And those will begin in April.

491

: 00:25:35

After the guest episode with Dr.

492

: 00:25:38

Kathleen Nadeau.

493

: 00:25:39

So thank you again for listening.

494

: 00:25:41

I have put together.

495

: 00:25:42

Some resources for you.

496

: 00:25:44

Which you can access through

a link in the show notes.

497

: 00:25:47

You can also find it through my website.

498

: 00:25:51

I'll try to remember to include

it in any posts that I make.

499

: 00:25:54

And if you want to know more about ADHD

and coaching, you can always visit my

500

: 00:25:59

website, which is light bulb, adhd.com.

501

: 00:26:04

Thank you again for being with me today.

502

: 00:26:06

I hope that this has given you some hope

that you can make changes, that will make

503

: 00:26:12

a difference to how you feel everyday.

504

: 00:26:14

I look forward to seeing

you again very soon.

505

: 00:26:17

Please get in touch.

506

: 00:26:18

If you have any questions

about today's show.

507

: 00:26:21

ADHD, or if you've got ideas for what

you want me to talk about in future.

508

: 00:26:25

I look forward to being

with you next week.

509

: 00:26:28

And in the meantime, until

we meet again, Take care.