Should you get an ADHD diagnosis - is it just a label or an excuse?

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Welcome back my friend.

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It is ADHD, powerful possibilities.

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I'm back this week is ADHD.

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Coach Catherine.

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Catherine.

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This week, we're going to talk

about the value of a diagnosis or.

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Do we want a label?

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And ADHD, powerful possibilities.

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I share the insights, the

information and the thoughts.

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That come to me, a certified advanced ADHD

coach through working with my clients.

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To looking at research.

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And talking to the wider community,

the people that get in touch with

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me that keep in touch through my

email, through my social media.

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And something that's come up quite a

bit in the last two or three weeks is.

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Why should I get a diagnosis or my partner

doesn't want my child to get a diagnosis.

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My.

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Relative doesn't understand

why I want a diagnosis.

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And the, maybe don't even

believe that they have ADHD.

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And they're confused.

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They don't get why having

a diagnosis matters.

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So this episode is for

people who hesitate.

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Around to labelling, their

children and adults who don't

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really think they have ADHD.

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Because at the moment, their life

has adapted round about it and

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we're going to look at why having

a diagnosis matters, even if you

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think it's not a problem right now.

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A very common circumstance is when people

say, I don't want them to have a label.

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I don't want my kids to have a label.

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Everybody has a label.

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Now everybody has letters.

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Why do you need a diagnosis?

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It doesn't mean anything

you're doing okay.

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It's so normal for people

to feel some anxiety

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it might be your cultural background.

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I know lots of people who come

from places where it is still a

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stigma to be ADHD or autistic.

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Where it seen as a defect and it has a.

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An impact on how people perceive you.

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Whether you're capable,

whether you're intelligent.

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And in that context you can see.

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Yeah.

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It's understandable that you'd

want to avoid that stigma.

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Obviously, that's not what I'm

about, but I can understand

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where they're coming from.

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What's hard though, is when we.

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Live in a country where it's accepted

that neurodivergence is all around us.

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Why are those people still anxious around

having a child assessed and diagnosed?

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Just imagine.

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Constantly feeling like you're not

quite living up to your potential.

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Missing deadlines.

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Losing things struggling to

focus in important meetings.

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Not coping with the things that

you need to do on a daily basis.

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What does that do to you over time?

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And how you think of yourself.

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And what if there's an explanation

for all of those struggles?

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And ways to manage them better.

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So when I hear people say, I

don't want to label my child.

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I understand where they're coming from.

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Nobody wants their child to be pigeonholed

or treated as less or broken or defective.

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But here's the thing.

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Diagnosis.

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Isn't just about giving somebody a label.

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It is a key that unlocks their

understanding of themselves.

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As well as support.

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And by support, I don't mean the

mythical magic money tree, which lots

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of people seem to think happens when

you have a child diagnosed with ADHD.

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I have hair.

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Then we start Regis things.

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People think, oh, he'll get

lots of money and benefits.

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That doesn't happen.

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But there are things that you

can access and it is important.

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To have a diagnosis as early

and as accurately as possible.

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So for example, You are in a relationship.

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And your co-parent says

everybody's got a label these days.

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My daughter doesn't have any problems.

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She's a bit quirky is not a big deal.

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On the surface.

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Everything is fine.

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But when we don't understand what's

happening beneath the surface behavior.

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Both that young child and the parents

are trying to drive a road without a map.

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They don't know what the destination is.

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ADHD and autism are not just about.

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Special interest.

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It's not about hyperactivity.

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It's not about a lack

of focus or attention.

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It's basically your entire way of

experiencing and processing the world.

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And relating to other people.

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And going from personal experience.

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When your child is very small and cute.

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Their ability to monologue for half

an hour on a particular topic without

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noticing if you're interested or not.

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It's charming.

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And they can get away with a lot.

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When they're little.

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But if you've got.

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Especially for young men.

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If you've got a young boy and he's small

and cute is he can get away with a lot.

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When they are 15, 16 year olds and

they're very tall and they have that.

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Teenage boys thing where they

suddenly sprout and their own

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voice and arms and legs and things.

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It's very different.

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And how people perceive them and

respond to them will be different.

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And then their.

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Personal view of themself

will be different.

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Obviously with an official diagnosis

in theory, we have access to resources.

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Accommodations in school,

college and at work.

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We can also think about what strategies

we need to tailor to help that person.

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whatever their age is.

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Because we want them to thrive.

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Nope, just survive.

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And there are studies that show

early diagnosis and intervention

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significantly improve.

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Not just academic performance,

but social skills.

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Friendships relating to other people.

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And then they reduce the chances of

things like anxiety and depression.

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Which travel with ADHD and autism

because the young person thinks

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that the are some hope wrong.

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There's a problem with them.

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And it's not something

that they understand.

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They don't know why

they're getting it wrong.

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They maybe don't have

the social context to.

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Identify what it is about

how they make friends.

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It's just annoying people.

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Or if you're in an office.

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Why is it?

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Nobody wants to go out

with you after work.

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If you are running a business, why

is it that networking and going

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to the post office is so hard.

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If you're managing a department.

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What is it about your style of

communication that has your stuff

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rolling their eyes and not doing

what you have asked them to do?

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If you're delivering reports, if

you're pitching for work, what

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is it that you are not getting?

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And instead of it being, oh,

I understand it's because.

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My brain tends to go.

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Black and white, it tends to meet these

big leaps and other people bless them.

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Need me to take them in little steps.

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It's not that.

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Not that there's anything wrong with you.

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It is a little bit like.

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Your car runs on diesel and

everybody else's car runs on petrol.

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Or I've heard this used

before before we run on apple.

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iOS and everybody else's on windows.

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So an earlier diagnosis.

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Prevent people blaming themselves.

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Understanding how to translate.

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Between apple and windows.

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If you like.

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And being able to put

those strategies in place.

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Early enough to avoid things like anxiety

and depression and the social isolation.

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Which to me is one of the main problems.

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I see with undiagnosed young people.

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Entering the teens and twenties.

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And for, especially women

in the thirties and forties.

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That point where things start to

go really crazy off the rails.

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Wrong.

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And spite of you being really intelligent.

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And capable and

understanding lots of things.

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You can anticipate it.

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You can put strategies in place.

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You can have accommodations your

expectation and understanding

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of yourself changes.

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You can give yourself

grace and compassion.

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And that.

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Alone reduces the amount of

stress that you live with.

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So it's really important.

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That a diagnosis.

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Isn't just about a label.

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It allows you to understand

yourself, communicate your needs.

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And not blame yourself for being.

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Someone who finds it harder to do things

that other people appear to do simply.

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What happens if adults haven't had

a diagnosis in their childhood?

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I would say 90% of my clients

fall into this category.

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They are smart.

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They're capable.

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They're creative.

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They're.

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Generally go getting there.

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They're wonderful people.

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but they weren't diagnosed early on.

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And so by the time I start to work with

them, They've become aware of ADHD.

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If hopefully had a diagnosis, many

of them are trying medication.

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Ideally they've had some therapy

to do with the wounds or the

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scars that sometimes travel.

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And they're ready to make changes.

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If you don't accept it, ADHD even exists.

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What happens?

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So picture this..

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You have worked tirelessly

your whole life.

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To meet the idea of what being a

good boy or a good girl on means.

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And your family and your.

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Peer group in your workplace.

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And you're doing it.

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You're capable of doing

that and sustaining it.

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But what is the cost in

terms of your stress?

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In terms of your belief in yourself.

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As somebody who's capable.

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And what if.

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Recognizing that you have ADHD.

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Allows you to feel.

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More yourself.

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More.

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Energized.

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And just happier.

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More joyful.

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Able to do things that are fun instead

of constantly being on high alert.

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From missing the social mark.

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We see this in.

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Generally the older generation

who still have a stigma around

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ADHD or who have managed to adapt.

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And shut down their life and potential.

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To conform.

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To this idea of what is an

acceptable way to behave.

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Until usually they're sixties or

seventies or maybe a grandchild

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or something is diagnosed.

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Maybe they've done a great job

meeting the expectations of their

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family, their friends, their work.

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And maybe they have pushed through.

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They are people pleasing.

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They are perfectionist.

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And they give themselves a hard

time because they're worried

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that if they don't do that, Other

people will start to really spoke.

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What's different about them.

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It may look like they don't.

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Need an ADHD diagnosis.

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And these certainly do not want to accept.

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They could be ADHD.

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Apart from the fact that this

can affect how younger members

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of our family behave and Hosey.

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See themselves and it

can do damage to them.

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If they pick up these behaviors.

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There's a lot of research showing

undiagnosed ADHD in adults.

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It doesn't just lead to chronic

stress, which we know has a

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physical impact on our health

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All of these blood pressure, these

really significant physical things.

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But it also leads to more mental

health problems and burnout.

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And there was a systematic

review in BMC medicine.

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That found untreated, ADHD and adults.

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Led to poorer long-term outcomes,

including lower socioeconomic status,

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which means they don't earn as much.

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Eh, more unemployment.

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'cause they burnout.

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They lose their jobs.

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And a much higher risk of

substance abuse and legal problems.

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For example.

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The prison population is much,

much higher in terms of proportion

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of people with undiagnosed ADHD.

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As well as the things that people

have said to me, Conforming to

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social expectations, three people

pleasing and perfectionism.

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Comes a very high personal cost.

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You might not.

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Follow those dreams,

those bright, shiny ideas.

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That people with ADHD have that

don't just change your life.

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They changed the lives of others.

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The people we see leading industry

and world changing business.

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I generally people.

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who are neurodivergent, often ADHD.

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And they have these flashes of

insight if they don't embrace those

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in case the upset other people.

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We might be in a very different

place and not in a good way.

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And that's why embracing a diagnosis.

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Transforms your daily life.

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And things that are a struggle can

begin to feel almost like a strength.

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Because when you have the

tools to manage your life more

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effectively, It stops feeling like

you're pushing treacle uphill.

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I don't know if you saw the film.

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Nanny McPhee and the big bang.

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There's a wonderful scene where

one of the characters has poured.

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I think it's Maggie Smith, who I adore.

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She's poured treacle into

a drawer and the shop.

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And that is exactly what it's

like trying to live with ADHD.

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Without a diagnosis, eventually

it's going to come out.

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How it comes out is up to you.

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So you can make scones.

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Or you can make a mess in your drawer.

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Me, I love a treacle scone or

I really enjoy a nice pancake

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treacle pancakes are amazing.

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That if you just pour it

into a drawer to hide it and

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pretend you don't have treacle.

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It's not going to be

very good for anybody.

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So a diagnosis doesn't

just mean you get a label.

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You're not being pigeonholed.

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It means.

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You understand your needs.

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You can access, support.

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And resources.

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For young people, this can

mean earlier intervention, more

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long term improved outcomes.

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I for grownups, it means.

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You're more likely to get medication

that works really well for you as well.

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The energies that you put into

managing untreated undiagnosed ADHD.

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His energy that belongs.

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To you to do amazing things.

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Oh in the world.

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And for adults.

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Diagnosis means that C are

able to embrace strategies.

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They might not have considered

before and find support systems.

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That meet their unique ways.

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Oh, thinking.

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And working in the world.

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I'm going to invite you to think

about the possibility of a life

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where your strengths are recognized.

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Your struggles are minimized and managed.

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That your potential is

fully allowed to shine.

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All of the evidence.

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Points to earlier diagnosis.

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Or a diagnosis at any

point being beneficial.

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And I'm not saying this

because it's any benefit to me.

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I coach people, whether they have

a diagnosis or not, I will coach.

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Anyone.

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But if you have a diagnosis, You

can give yourself permission.

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To accept what you need.

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And that is the thing

that changes for people.

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That acceptance and permission and

other people will look at you with

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more acceptance, with understanding.

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And maybe even curiosity

wow, they are so amazing.

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They run their own business.

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They have this fantastic project.

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They've got this wonderful invention.

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They have created this incredible thing.

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They are doing so well.

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University.

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And they have ADHD.

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And that amazing curiosity.

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Wait a minute, you do that.

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And you have ADHD.

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Is what's going to change things

in the future for everyone.

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No just us, but people without ADHD.

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Who may be saying maybe

I could do that too.

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We are.

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Inviting them.

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To see that.

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It's not a label.

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It is a permission slip

to do things differently.

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And Z can use that too.

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Because one thing I can tell you is that

strategies that work for people with ADHD.

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Work beautifully.

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For people who don't have a diagnosis.

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So please don't be scared

of a diagnostic label.

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Don't be scared of having

a bunch of letters.

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It doesn't change.

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You.

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But it can change how you

call forward in the world.

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And it can change what support

is available to you right now?

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If this has been helpful, please

share it with other people.

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We really need to explain that.

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ADHD and getting a diagnosis.

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Isn't a bad thing.

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And we need to give people permission.

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To be themselves.

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And to try things that work

wonderfully for them in a way

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they may not have anticipated.

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Remember.

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Understanding yourself is just the

first step to living your very best

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life, which is what I want you to have.

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Until the next time.

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Take care.