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Welcome back.

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My friends, it is ADHD, peripheral

possibilities, and we are back with

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a new episode and a new season.

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Today, we're going to talk

about ADHD in midlife.

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If you've ever felt like you're constantly

losing this thread of conversations

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and you are maybe getting distracted

all the time is getting worse.

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Perhaps you've been diagnosed

with ADHD or you're thinking

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about going for a diagnosis.

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You are not alone.

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MetLife can feel like a real

uncertain time for so many of us.

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The great news is it's also a chance for

us to discover new ways of doing things.

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To discover and reclaim who we

really are and who we want to be.

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And I want to talk about

a few things we can do.

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Of course.

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So grab a cup of tea.

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Sit down and let's get started.

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Before we dive into the

main topic of today.

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I just wanted to talk a little bit

about the break I took over the summer.

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It started because I was not very well.

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And then it just kind of kept going.

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And I think it's actually a

really useful thing for me to

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share with you for a few reasons.

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I am a person who is always.

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Pushing myself to be productive.

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If I'm not doing something,

it feels really hard.

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And although there are different

kinds of rest and I'm a big fan

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of active rest and creative rest.

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There are some times when

you just need a break.

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And I gave myself permission

with a big capital P.

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I recognize that for me

to be able to help you.

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As a coach.

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And as somebody talking about ADHD online,

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I had to work with my

own capacity and energy.

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And that is not something that

is constant for any of us.

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Especially if we are in female bodies.

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Was menopause and with families and

we all kinds of things going on.

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To reclaim our power.

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In mid-life whether we have ADHD or

not, whether we have ovaries or not.

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We have to focus on

giving ourselves grace.

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And permission.

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We have to recognize our capacity.

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And be absolutely unapologetic about

the fact that like the sea lakes and

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moon, like anything that is natural and

not made out of concrete or plastic.

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We are not going to be consistent

in the ways that, uh, The

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productive economic unit should be.

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Most importantly, if we want to

make meaningful change, which is

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something I am passionate about doing.

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We have to start by recognizing

and respecting our own needs.

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Seeing that let's get

back to ADHD in midlife.

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Let's begin with the physical changes that

our brain experiences as we start to age.

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And when I say midlife, I'm talking

about anything from 35 to 40 upwards.

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Because let's say the average

life span is around 75, maybe

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a bit longer in some places.

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By the time you get to 35, you are in

midlife and that's quite scary, but

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you're going to start to experience

neurological and physical changes.

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Because this is something

that I come up against a lot.

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We forget that our brain

is part of our body.

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And the two are one organism

is just one of them.

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Is given the job of producing or taking

part in our thoughts and experiences.

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So as our bodies age, as our arteries,

maybe start to be a bit less flexible

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as we start to lose muscle mass.

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As our hormone levels,

start to shift and decline.

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Our brain is going to go through

some significant changes too.

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And that means.

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People who have ADHD or ADHD type brains.

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Which means that certain

connections and areas in our brain,

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certain of the functions in the

neurotransmitter production and uptake.

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Are different.

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They're going to start to feel,

a, more exaggerated to change.

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Because as our hormone levels,

decline of tools you before.

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As our estrogen declines, our

dopamine production declines.

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Which means, obviously if we're

already challenged, In the

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area of dopamine regulation.

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It's just going to get more difficult.

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Many of us are extremely busy.

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We are the squashed middle between parents

and children and jobs and business.

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This means it's incredibly

hard to balance.

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Exercise and sleep and nutrition.

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mindfulness self care,

whatever it is we need to do.

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But those become even more important.

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The less time we have for them.

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And of course, when we

don't make time for that.

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It really changes how

your brain functions.

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I can't be the only person who has.

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Really noticeably experienced

the impact of a lack of sleep on.

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How we focus, how much work we can do.

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Or motivation or determination

to stick with our goals.

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For lots of you.

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Midlife just feels like an endless

list of responsibilities where

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tickling businesses, careers.

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Some of us have small children.

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I was 36 when my daughter was born.

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And that is an incredible lot to take on.

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I want to share a different

way of looking at it.

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And this is part of the shift I

have made myself over the last year.

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Especially over the summer.

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I want to think about how we

can focus on this as a real

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chance for growth and change.

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A real.

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Shift where we can pivot into a different

way of thinking and acting and being.

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So one of the things that often happens

is, especially if we've started a family,

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we might need to change our career.

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This is still predominantly something

that happens to women, but you know, it.

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A fair few number of men who take up the

role of caring for their children at home.

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This means we've got an

opportunity to change our career.

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To reassess our priorities.

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To think about what a life that

we would enjoy might be like,

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And of course the great

thing about having ADHD.

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Isn't that we are

inherently more creative.

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But we have a divergent thinking style.

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That means we're more likely

to spot opportunities.

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To have a new way of looking at things.

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And to have that impulsive push

to just take a risk and go for it.

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So if we can find ways to integrate

looking after ourselves, And nurturing

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these new ideas, these new possibilities.

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At the same time as building your

business, looking after your family,

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whatever it is that you're doing.

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It can have a compound effect

on how we feel going forward.

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And some of you have already taken my

ADHD, growth archetype quiz and something

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I've noticed from just about every single

person is that they are all very adaptive.

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And some of them are incredibly good.

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Uh, investigating and synthesizing

the information they've got by

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far, the biggest number of people

who've taken that quiz so far are

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what I call , adaptive explorers.

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Which means.

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They already have this advantage

over lots of people in that word.

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Still thinking a little bit more.

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Expansively a little bit more.

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Experimentally

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I would love you to take the quiz

and let me know how you get on.

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And if you agree with

the results that you get.

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I'll include a link in the show notes.

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And of course, in all of my places online.

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It's a great way to start thinking about.

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What is my next step?

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And what are the possible

challenges I may come up against?

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When I'm trying to reassess

who I am, who I want to be.

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where, I want to go.

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And of course, we need to

look at practical ideas here.

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It's great for me to sit here

and say, let's reclaim our

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power in midlife with ADHD.

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But what does that mean?

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Some of us have only just

discovered that the reason.

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Life has felt so challenging is because

we have a differently structured brain.

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And that kind of cause a lot of

challenges throughout our life.

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So the first thing that we can do.

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Is to recognize that these challenges,

these difficulties, these things

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have happened to us in the past.

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Are actually great chances for us

to recognize things about ourself.

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And things for the world.

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And to turn it around and

see, well, what can I learn?

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From what I've been through so far.

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Instead of thinking.

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Good grief.

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That was really hard.

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And we've all been there and we all do it.

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It's normal to think.

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I've had enough.

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That's all key, but what can you

learn from the circumstances?

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That took you to that

break to that burn note.

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To that.

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Giving up, you could hear whatever it was.

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Use that as a chance to really

discover something about yourself.

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But what you need, what

your priorities are.

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And the wonderful thing is that our brains

don't stop changing as we get older.

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So when we practice reframing these

difficult circumstances, as challenges,

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as opportunities to learn exciting new

things about ourselves and the world.

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Our brains are going to start

to do that more regularly.

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It will feel awkward to begin with.

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I can guarantee it.

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If something terrible has happened

in your life, please don't think.

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I'm seeing use this as a

learning or teaching moment.

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That's not what I want at all.

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We have to acknowledge that trauma

happens and it's especially likely

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to happen to people who are new to

divergent, whether they know it or not.

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What I am seeing is that.

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These challenges that are not trauma.

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Or are not the big T trauma are ones that

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we can use to see ourselves.

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Our strengths.

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Uh, what we want to do differently.

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What we can learn about

the world about ourselves.

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When we reframe them.

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As a chance to learn.

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And to challenge ourselves rather than

feel like the world is persecuting us.

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So, whether that means

you've got problems at work.

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Whether you need to rebalance family life.

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Why do you need to reprioritize

looking after yourself?

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These are opportunities

for you to reassess.

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Rebalance.

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And make small incremental changes.

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The next thing we can do to

give ourselves a bit more power.

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As we enter midlife is to focus

on our goals and celebrations.

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Now I am not a fan of reward

charts for children generally.

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the reward is too far away from the

action for the young person, for the child

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to recognize it and really embrace it.

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And that's something that we experienced.

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Before we knew about ADHD earned.

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Dopamine reward system.

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So I'm a big fan of micro goals

and micro rewards and actions.

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That can be, I am going to

sit down and record the first

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podcast for several months.

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And after half an hour, I'm going

to go and dance to my favorite tune.

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I'm going to have a

really lovely cup of tea.

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I am going to go and snuggle with my dog.

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That's the kind of reward and celebration.

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And small task that I

think is helpful for us.

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Another thing you can do that I think

has made a big difference for me.

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Is finding five minutes in the morning.

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Five minutes before anyone else

gets up and just sitting quietly.

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You can go outside.

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If you're lucky enough to

have a garden, you can just be

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somewhere quiet and soft and warm.

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And have a coffee or a tea.

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But those five minutes.

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If you are really present.

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Feel like.

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Plugging yourself into.

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An incredibly energizing circuit.

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I'm not a morning person,

as anyone will tell you.

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But that practice in the

morning can set your brain up

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for success throughout the day

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and the last thing that

we're going to talk about is

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embracing power in community.

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This is a lot easier now than it was.

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Even 20 years ago.

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But ADHD people in particular often

seem to thrive when we find other

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people with our kind of brains.

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No things like mirror

neurons are oversimplified.

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And I think mostly disproved.

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But we do enjoy the energy and

the way that a neurodivergent

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conversation can travel quickly

in interesting and exciting ways.

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So making an effort to make community

with people who understand how you talk,

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who you think will have huge benefits.

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ADHD can affect our social dynamics.

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But it also can allow us to

experience a very deep connection.

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And two.

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Make friends very quickly with

people who recognize themselves in us.

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When we've spent many years feeling

like we are the only zebra in the zoo.

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When we suddenly meet

a whole bunch of them.

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It is nothing short of miraculous.

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And this is even more true.

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If you've been in a role where you are.

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Uh, solo business owner

you're in management.

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And the challenges that you experience

are not ones it's easy to share,

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given the hierarchy that operates

in most of these organizations.

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We do based in partnerships where

we are all equal, but we are

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working in our own zone of genius.

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So if you're in a

business, It's challenging.

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If you're a manager in charge of a team.

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Finding a community.

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Can make all the difference to how you

feel about things that are hard for you.

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When you recognize it.

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Oh, actually.

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Other people go through this.

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They also have ADHD and it is

harder for us for some things.

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If you're a working parent and it is

especially challenging, given many

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of us have neurodivergent children.

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Online groups can be invaluable.

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And there are some which are wonderful.

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Look for ones where the interaction

is generally positive or uplifting.

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Empathetic, but not a competition.

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You might also find it

making a peer grip at work.

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Uh, an ADHD group of buddies

can make a big difference to.

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Of course again, keep it focused on

empowerment, empathy, and support.

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And if you can make it

into a cheerleading squad.

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Those are the best groups

where we all celebrate.

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Everybody's progress.

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If you're feeling overwhelmed

by midlife changes.

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I'm here to remind you.

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You are whole capable.

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Resilient.

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Way more creative than you

give yourself credit for.

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And you can still be on a path to growth.

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Think about just one thing

you could do this week.

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To reclaim some of your power.

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And that might mean that

you ask someone for help.

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It might mean you try a new

way of organizing things.

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It might mean you have a five

minute early coffee by yourself

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where you don't do anything.

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You don't look at your phone.

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You just enjoy being.

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Oh, it might be that you meet

contact with people at work.

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And form a neuro divergent group

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whatever it is.

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Take a step forward.

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It may even be spending five

minutes doing the ADHD growth

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archetype quiz on my website.

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It's a great place to start understanding

your stage of self-awareness.

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As well as how you can take your

next steps without getting stuck.

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I'll be talking about

the different archetypes.

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Why I created it.

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What you can learn from

it in a future episode.

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And if you want to take

part in it, it's free.

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There's no obligation to anything else.

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Just go and do the quiz.

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And let me know how you get on.

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Thank you for being here today.

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It's so good to be back.

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If you have found it to be valuable.

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Please leave a comment.

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Like it, share it with a friend.

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: 00:16:04

Or if you have two minutes, leave

a review on whatever podcast

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platform you're listening.

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As always.

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Stay curious.

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S And take care of yourselves.