Feeling blue? ADHD & the brain changing power of Positive Emotions
ADHD Coach Katherine Sanders
S Katherine Sanders, AACG, certified ADHD coach.
In this enlightening episode, ADHD Coach Katherine explains the power of positive emotions and their hidden role in managing ADHD.
The penultimate episode in our monthly theme of emotional dysregulation, we turn to the brighter side, exploring how positive emotions can reshape our experiences with ADHD. From tackling the misconceptions surrounding positivity (no 'good vibes only' here!) to unveiling the neuroscience behind emotional regulation, this episode is a treasure trove of insights and practical advice.
Highlights:
- Understanding Emotional Dysregulation: We begin with a brief recap of emotional dysregulation in ADHD, emphasizing the need to balance our focus on both negative and positive emotions.
- The Science of Positivity: Look at neuroplasticity, dopamine pathways, and the impact of positive emotions on the ADHD brain, featuring insights from Dr. Nora Volkow's research.
- Strategies for Cultivating Positivity: From exercise to positive psychology and (yes) gratitude journaling, discover actionable strategies to foster positive emotions and build a more resilient mindset.
- The Role of Emotional Intelligence: Explore how enhancing emotional intelligence can lead to better stress management, improved relationships, and a deeper understanding of oneself.
- Introducing Emotional Acuity Resonance (EAR): A novel concept developed by Katherine, EAR represents an adaptable approach to understanding and leveraging the emotional strengths inherent in ADHD.
Resources Mentioned:
- Study by Dr. Nora Volkow on dopamine reward pathways
- Journal of Neuroscience article on positive emotions and ADHD
- VIA Character Strengths Assessment
- Barbara Fredrickson's Broaden and Build model
- Daniel Goleman's work on Emotional Intelligence
Next Week's Teaser: Stay tuned for an exclusive reveal of Katherine's toolkit for emotion regulation, designed to empower you to harness the full spectrum of your emotions in daily life.
Connect with Us:
- Share your insights and takeaways by emailing us. Your feedback might shape our future episodes!
- If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone who could benefit from our conversation on ADHD and positive emotions.
Connect with Katherine here:
Video of Dr Volkow - ADHD: An Attention and Motivation Deficit Disorder (2011)
VIA Character Strengths Assessment (free) - https://www.viacharacter.org/
Broaden & Build (journal article) - Fredrickson BL. The role of positive emotions in positive psychology. The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. Am Psychol. 2001 Mar;56(3):218-26. doi: 10.1037//0003-066x.56.3.218. PMID: 11315248; PMCID: PMC3122271.
Broaden & Build in the workplace - article: https://www.mindtools.com/ah0omj7/broaden-and-build-theory
Daniel Goleman - Emotional Intelligence: https://www.danielgoleman.info/
Barbara Fredrickson: Broaden and Build Model
Fredrickson BL. The role of positive emotions in positive psychology. The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. Am Psychol. 2001 Mar;56(3):218-26. doi: 10.1037//0003-066x.56.3.218. PMID: 11315248; PMCID: PMC3122271.
Bartos, L., Funes, M., Ouellet, Marc, Posadas, M., Immink, M., & Krägeloh, Christian U. (2022). A Feasibility Study of a Program Integrating Mindfulness, Yoga, Positive Psychology, and Emotional Intelligence in Tertiary-Level Student Musicians. Mindfulness.
Valerie, Brenda, & Mularsih, Heni. (2021). The Correlation Between Emotional Intelligence and Subjective Well-Being Among Psychology Students in Jakarta. Advances in Social Science, Education and Humanities Research.
Cejudo, J., García-Castillo, Francisco-Javier, Luna, Pablo, Rodrigo-Ruiz, D., Feltrero, Roberto, & Moreno-Gómez, Alfonso. (2019). Using a Mindfulness-Based Intervention to Promote Subjective Well-Being, Trait Emotional Intelligence, Mental Health, and Resilience in Women With Fibromyalgia. Frontiers in Psychology.
Lopez-Zafra, Esther, Ramos‑Álvarez, M., El Ghoudani, Karima, Luque-Reca, Octavio, Augusto-Landa, J., Zarhbouch, Benaissa, Alaoui, Smail, Cortés-Denia, Daniel, & Pulido-Martos, M. (2019). Social Support and Emotional Intelligence as Protective Resources for Well-Being in Moroccan Adolescents. Frontiers in Psychology.
Farnia, Forouzan, Nafukho, F., & Petrides, K. (2018). Predicting Career Decision-Making Difficulties: The Role of Trait Emotional Intelligence, Positive and Negative Emotions. Frontiers in Psychology.
Qin, Yuan, Liu, Jiao, & Wu, Dongmei. (2023). The impact of emotional intelligence on life satisfaction among Chinese nurses: A chain mediating model. Frontiers in Psychology.
Li, Chengchen. (2020). A Positive Psychology perspective on Chinese EFL students’ trait emotional intelligence, foreign language enjoyment and EFL learning achievement. Journal of Multilingual and Multicultural Development.
Ben Turkia, I., Brahim, T., & Sahli, L. (2023). Emotional Intelligence and Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). European Psychiatry.
Pm, S., & Manjula, V. (2022). Emotional Intelligence and Marital Adjustment among Parents of Children with ADHD. International Journal of Science and Engineering Management.
Llamas-Díaz, D., Cabello, R., Gómez-Leal, R., Gutiérrez-Cobo, M. J., Megías-Robles, A., & Fernández-Berrocal, P. (2023). Ability Emotional Intelligence and Subjective Happiness in Adolescents: The Role of Positive and Negative Affect. Journal of Intelligence.
Ludlow, A., Garrood, A., Lawrence, K., & Gutierrez, R. (2014). Emotion Recognition From Dynamic Emotional Displays in Children With ADHD. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology.
Volkow ND, Wang G, Kollins SH, et al. Evaluating Dopamine Reward Pathway in ADHD: Clinical Implications. JAMA. 2009;302(10):1084–1091. doi:10.1001/jama.2009.1308
Transcript
RODE NT-USB & Susan's iphone (work) Camera:
What's up my friend, it is ADHD
2
:Powerful Possibilities and I'm
your friend ADHD Coach Katherine.
3
:This month so far we've been
looking at negative emotions in
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:terms of emotional dysregulation.
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:We have looked at the impact
of stress, both positive but
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:mostly chronic negative stress.
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:We've done some exploration of
myths and the impact that these
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:misinformation stories have on our well
being, both mentally and physically.
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:And this week, before we dive
into the toolkit next week, I want
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:to take some time to think about
Positive emotion, because so often
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:when we talk about emotions, we
focus on the negative ones, right?
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:We think about the pain, the
anxiety, the worry, the stress, the
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:loneliness, all these really harmful
and unhappy feelings that we have.
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:And I wanted to spend a little
bit of time with you today, just
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:thinking about what happens when
we focus on positive emotions.
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:Certainly, it is more click baity, more
attractive, in terms of numbers, to talk
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:about the pain and the problems, and if I
talk about burnout and things like that, I
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:generally get a lot more input from people
than when I talk about strengths of ADHD.
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:I just think it's really important that
we acknowledge there are things that make
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:a difference and one of them is learning
how to address our feelings, focus on
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:the ones that actually make us feel good.
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:I think "positive" in itself is slightly
problematic because lots of people
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:associate it with not acknowledging.
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:the difficult things at the
same time as the good things.
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:So I want to reassure you, all your
vibes, all your feelings are welcome here.
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:It's not good vibes only.
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:You're allowed to experience
challenges and also feel good about
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:other things at the same time.
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:When we think about positive
emotions, are we thinking about
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:feeling really good all the time?
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:No, obviously not.
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:We want to acknowledge
that feeling better.
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:Feeling joy, feeling happiness,
feeling connection, feeling excitement
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:all of these positive feelings that
we might lump together under the
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:banner of positive can be experienced
temporarily and in short bursts.
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:It's not humanly possible to feel
really ecstatic and happy all the
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:time and it's maybe not even healthy.
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:I think.
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:A sign of being psychologically well
is to be able to experience the light
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:and the shade, to feel up and feel
down, but in a way that doesn't hinder
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:your daily activities, your long term
vision and your goals, it doesn't
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:impact on your relationships too much.
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:And one of the reasons that I want
to focus on it today is because
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:we know that neuroplasticity
occurs throughout our lifetime.
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:You can learn new things
no matter your age.
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:There's no cut off point where your
brain stops changing and The great
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:thing is that what we think and how we
think as well as our daily habits and
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:actions can have a really big impact
on the amount of change in our brain.
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:And we'll come later to talk about
the impact of things like mindfulness
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:and how that has been shown to
change the shape of your brain.
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:Way, way back we talked about
dopamine and the reward pathway
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:and I mentioned the work of Dr.
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:Nora Volkov who spent a lot of
time with her colleagues exploring
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:how dopamine reward is experienced
differently for people with ADHD.
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:I will include a link in the show notes
to the study so you can go and read it.
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:I'll also include a video that
includes her talking about her work.
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:To sum it up.
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:If you have ADHD, you are likely to
need more positive input, more of a
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:reward, more often, to achieve the same
reward the same amount of dopamine.
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:So that is one of the reasons why people
with A DHD can occasionally end up in
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:a trap of looking for dopamine through
food, through alcohol, gambling, all these
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:exciting quick hit reward things, and
it's very common for that to be a problem.
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:Don't feel any shame about it.
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:It's just your brain.
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:And when you know why you're
doing it, it's easier.
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:Not easy.
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:Easier to change how you go about things.
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:We know that dopamine is the
neurotransmitter we think
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:of most often with ADHD.
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:With ADHD we often have a
dysregulated dopamine pathway.
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:It's harder for us to feel that good
reward feeling, that satisfaction,
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:the joy, the accomplishment.
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:And because it's more difficult for us
to experience that, reward that we expect
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:from doing the right thing, from finishing
a job, from the day to day things
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:that other people find enjoyable and
rewarding, we need to focus more on those
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:activities that produce the dopamine.
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:And there's an article I'm
linking to from the Journal of
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:Neuroscience, which highlights how
experiencing positive, enjoyable
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:emotions more often actually helps.
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:And to regulate our attention
and also our motivation towards
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:these rewarding activities.
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:So the more often we experience a
positive emotion, the more likely
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:we are to regulate our dopamine and
to take part in these activities
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:that stimulate more dopamine.
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:The week before we were talking about
stress and how it becomes a vicious
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:cycle where stress and cortisol
and the impact of that on ADHD can
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:produce more stress and we get stuck.
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:The same is true when we focus
more on positive emotions.
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:When I say positive, I don't mean
happiness 24 7, so I'm just thinking about
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:things that give you joy, satisfaction,
pleasure, connection, that warm, fuzzy
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:that you might experience sometimes.
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:Those things create more dopamine.
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:The more we have them, the more
likely we are to engage in activities
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:that give us more dopamine.
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:So it becomes this virtuous
spiral up the way, if you like.
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:The other thing that is changed
or activated more by positive
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:emotions and positive experiences
is our prefrontal cortex.
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:Now, our prefrontal cortex is the
general home of executive functions.
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:Those things which are
most impacted by ADHD.
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:Decision making, focus,
attention, impulse control.
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:When we feel these positive emotions,
this reward, that prefrontal cortex
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:is stimulated and becomes more active.
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:So it actually strengthens
the neural pathways the more
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:we focus on feeling good.
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:Now we've looked at the physical
impact of a positive emotion on your
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:brain, on the physical, chemical
structure of your brain, which
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:is frankly mind blowing, right?
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:What can you do about it?
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:The first thing, of course,
is going to be exercise.
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:It's always exercise.
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:Let's take that as a given.
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:Exercise is good for your brain, it's good
for your body, it's good for your heart.
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:We're designed to move.
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:So move in a way that you find enjoyable.
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:You might want to find an
activity that makes you smile.
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:For me, that is usually being really silly
and dancing to my favourite tunes at home.
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:But you might want to look at something
like group dancing, or a group activity.
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:Are there exercise groups, rambling
groups, are there classes that you can
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:join in, if you have joint problems,
are there move to music in swimming pool
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:groups that you can join in, where people
are just happy to be silly and have fun.
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:You might want to look for a positive
psychology aspect and this is something
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:that I love bringing into coaching.
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:Positive psychology is the understanding
of our brains and how we think to focus
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:on what we're good at, what's good
for us, the strength based approach.
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:A benefit of positive psychology
strategies, is that it helps us to
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:build our emotional intelligence.
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:It improves our general life
satisfaction, and it can increase
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:our resilience in times of stress.
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:Remember, stress can be short term,
and it can sometimes be a positive
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:thing, as long as it's not ongoing.
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:Positive psychology has some
great benefits for people with
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:ADHD when you look at all the
things that it's going to improve.
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:One of the things that you can do to
improve your awareness of positive
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:emotions is gratitude journaling and
this is something that is Used in
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:positive psychology, it's as simple as
noting down at the end of the day three
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:things that you're grateful for, not
going into great detail in them, but
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:just focusing on them every single day.
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:Focusing on them every single day
allows you to gradually build up that
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:gratitude muscle, and that, yeah,
actually some good stuff happened
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:today, because we tend to forget it.
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:Our memory in ADHD can be affected.
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:Making it a point to practice
that every single day can have
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:a big impact, as can savouring.
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:Now savouring is exactly
what it sounds like.
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:You know when you're eating something
absolutely delicious, and you really
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:take your time and enjoy every mouthful.
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:When you're doing something that
you really enjoy, that gives you
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:satisfaction, that you're really
good at, that's using your strengths.
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:Maybe you're out with a friend
and you're having a great time.
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:Savour the experience.
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:Try to anchor it . Create a picture
so that if you were to come into a
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:coaching session with me the next
day, you could describe it fully.
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:What was happening in the room
or in the area that you were?
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:What were the smells?
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:What were the sounds?
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:What was it that made you feel that
wonderful bubble of energy and joy
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:inside and savor those moments.
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:If you can include them in your
journal at the end of the day, build
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:up this bank of things that really
make you feel good right inside.
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:And of course.
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:The idea of using your character
strengths, I've mentioned before the
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:VIA character strengths assessment,
it's a free assessment, look at
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:what your top five to seven are.
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:Are you using them on a daily basis?
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:When we find a way to recruit those
strengths into everyday activities, we
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:will find that we get more satisfaction.
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:More enjoyment.
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:We feel more competent, more in charge
of what we're doing because we're leaning
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:into those strengths and we're taking
time to really use them for our benefit
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:and, of course, the benefit of others.
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:And one of the things that we need
to improve if we're going to have a
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:more positive and possible outlook is
Using tools like that to improve your
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:self concept or how you view yourself.
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:Quite often, I'll talk to people who have
a very negative self concept and it's a
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:tricky line because I'm not a therapist
or a counsellor, not a psychologist, I'm
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:only a coach, but sometimes it's just a
habit we've got into and all we need is
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:a coach to ask the right questions and
help you to see the good stuff again and
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:that might be enough, but if you find
that you're constantly Talking yourself
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:down, you're not taking action, you don't
think it's going to make a difference.
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:You might find that it's your self
concept that needs a wee bit of support.
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:And the positive psychology tools
that I've mentioned here and I'll
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:include links to in the show notes
are things that you can do yourself.
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:They're not things that you need
to have a therapist around for.
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:But speaking of positive psychology and
psychologists who are worthy of note,
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:I want to mention Barbara Fredrickson.
186
:She designed this idea called
the Broaden and Build model.
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:It's very much what we were talking
about, looking at your strengths,
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:but it's based on the idea
that positive experiences and
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:emotions have a long term benefit.
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:It's not just about feeling good
in the moment, but longer term.
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:Having more positive emotions
throughout the day will encourage
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:your long term self awareness
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:and encourage you to try new
things, to think new thoughts,
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:to accept more variety.
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:It's closer to that idea of resilience.
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:So the more positive experiences and
emotions we can feel every day, the
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:more likely we are to have long term
positive experiences, feel more open.
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:to try new things, which in turn
will give us more positive feedback.
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:And why would you want to include
things that make you feel positive?
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:, there's data that suggests it encourages
higher levels of creativity, and
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:by that creative problem solving,
not necessarily being Michelangelo.
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:It can encourage more flexibility in
thinking, and although people think of
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:black and white I'm going to be talking
about the concept of rigid thinking
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:in the context of autistic spectrum.
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:It's also something that occurs in ADHD
but if you're feeling like your thinking
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:is very black and white, it's quite
rigid, you have this very stuck frame
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:of mind, actually doing positive things.
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:Increases your flexibility.
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:Think of it like learning to
do a daily stretching routine.
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:It might not make a huge difference in
that day, but if you do it every day
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:for three to four months, by the end of
six months you're going to be incredibly
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:flexible and feel so much better, but
you won't notice at all in day one.
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:And of course the other impact of
positive emotion is that it allows
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:us to connect with other people.
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:Isolation.
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:is a very negative thing for human beings.
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:Yes, we can enjoy being on our own, we
can enjoy our own company, and lots of
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:us are very independent, but actually
being connected with other people who
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:Like us, who trust us, who respect us,
can build positive self regard, and it
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:can encourage you to make connections
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:and when we're connected,
we're generally happier humans.
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:It's why group coaching can be so
powerful, because positive feedback
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:and positive experiences shared in
the group can allow other people
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:to think, I would quite enjoy that.
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:That sounds good.
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:You might.
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:Also be able to give positive feedback
to somebody in a group and say,
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:well done, that was really great.
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:I know how hard that is for you.
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:And that lifting each other up
can be something that improves
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:your positive emotional state.
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:But it also allows you to feel more
safe to connect with other people.
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:Because let's face it, with ADHD, quite
often, We have challenges around our
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:social skills and relationships, not
because in and of itself it creates
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:a barrier, a separation, a lack of
empathy, but because quite often our
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:brains are jumping so far ahead or
we're distracted by an inner thought or
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:literally a squirrel rather than what
our friend or our neighbour is saying.
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:And over time.
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:We get a message that socially
we're not quite hitting the mark.
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:So when we're able to bring positive
emotion into a group, or when a group
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:shares a positive emotion with us,
and gives us some feedback, it allows
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:that I think of it like a shell.
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:It allows that shell just to crack a
little bit and the inner you, which
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:I believe is joyful and loves good
feelings and positive emotions, but feels
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:unsafe to share them, it allows that
you just to come out a little bit more.
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:So there are lots of reasons why
positive emotions and focusing
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:on it is really important.
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:There's data for these positive results
and I'll include them in the show
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:notes, but it's evidenced that the
more we can encourage ourselves to
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:experience and record positive emotions,
the better we feel and the better we
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:feel, the more of them we experience.
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:So it's a wonderful circle.
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:And if you're feeling stuck, if you
feel that you can't experience positive
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:emotions, obviously you need to rule
out things like clinical depression and
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:those need to be assessed by a doctor.
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:But it might be you're just not giving
yourself permission to experience
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:those positive things because
you don't see the point of them.
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:And this information is showing you
there is a point, there is a really
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:important reason to focus on this.
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:One of the ways that you can develop
more positive emotion is to work
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:on your emotional intelligence.
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:And this is a specific set of
concepts that were developed
263
:by the psychologists Peter Solovey
and John Mayer in the:
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:And it refers to the ability to
recognize, understand, manage and
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:use your own emotions positively.
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:To help relieve your stress, to
communicate better and more effectively
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:with other people, to overcome any
challenges in your life to share,
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:to have some empathy with others.
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:It's generally not a problem
for people with ADHD.
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:And also to resolve conflict.
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:And Daniel Goleman wrote the
book which everybody talks about
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:with emotional intelligence.
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:And in this book.
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:Goleman says, emotional intelligence is
more important than academic intelligence.
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:And I think certainly with the
advent of AI, it's pretty much a
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:given that you can find out almost
any piece of information available.
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:But how you use it and think about it and
how you think about yourself and other
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:humans is going to become more difficult.
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:It's going to become more important as we
go forward using artificial intelligence
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:and computers in our workplaces.
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:The thing is, with ADHD, you can
already tell that there are some
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:areas of emotional intelligence that
we're more likely to struggle with.
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:Things like mastering our
impulsivity and diffusing conflict.
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:Our social interactions and
our emotional regulation.
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:These executive functions are things
we may find more of a challenge.
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:I don't include empathy in that
because most of the people I've met
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:with ADHD are very empathetic and
many of us are extremely aware of our
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:emotions and other people's emotions,
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:but there are strategies from emotional
intelligence that we can use to improve
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:our self awareness, our regulation
and to connect with other people.
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:So there are five main elements
in emotional intelligence, and
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:the first one is self awareness.
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:And obviously, we can be self aware,
but we can also be very unaware of
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:things that trigger our emotional
dysregulation, of the impact of our
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:behavior on other people, or of the
impact and our inability to prevent it.
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:So when we work on emotional intelligence,
we can increase both our self awareness,
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:recognition of our emotional triggers,
but we can also improve how we respond
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:to things rather than just reacting.
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:And when those things come together,
we're more likely to have some
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:self acceptance and understanding.
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:And those two things are crucial for being
able to live a really good life with ADHD.
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:The second element of emotional
intelligence is self regulation, and we've
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:already talked today about impulsivity.
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:Last week we were talking about
myths and misinformation and how
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:our impulsivity often leads us
to jump on these quick fix ideas.
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:But impulsivity and Self regulation can
be improved the third aspect of emotional
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:intelligence that can help with ADHD
is motivation and understanding what
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:motivates us, how to motivate ourselves,
what the impact of motivation is and
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:It's something that we can struggle
with, especially if we've had a lot of
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:negative feedback, we're struggling to
finish things, we can become demotivated.
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:Demotivation, I think, is one of
those great big energy sponges that
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:just Sucks the joy out of the day.
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:Being aware of how to motivate
yourself, what motivates you.
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:Building that into your
toolkit is really important.
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:The fourth element of emotional
intelligence is empathy.
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:This is one that I think is more likely to
be a strength for many people with ADHD.
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:The weakness we may have is
that we are too empathetic and
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:our boundaries can be weak.
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:We may find that we are overwhelmed by
the emotions of others and then we become
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:flooded with too much emotional feedback.
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:Understanding where empathy should be.
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:Where it's healthy for you to be and
that might be different for you than
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:it is for me, but recognizing your
empathy as a strength and putting a
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:boundary in place for it is another
part of emotional intelligence
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:And the last part of emotional
intelligence number five is social
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:skills Generally social skills we
could all brush up on them, right?
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:it's something that especially over
the last few years many of us have Let
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:go a little bit, because we're hiding.
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:We're in our safe space.
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:We're at home.
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:We are generally much more
comfortable and able to do what
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:we like when we're at home.
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:And some of the social skills might be
a challenge for us to re engage with.
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:But emotional intelligence says
that social skills are crucial.
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:And so does Dr.
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:Kathleen Nadeau, who is one of my heroes.
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:And the thing is that there's research
showing personality traits are not fixed.
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:You might see yourself as
somebody who cannot change.
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:You might feel that things are impossible.
340
:You can change and there's
really good techniques out there.
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:It takes a little bit of time,
maybe more than you're expecting.
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:You might need to change.
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:More support than you were expecting,
but you can change if any of these
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:areas feel like a particular challenge
for you and there are programmes
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:and therapies which focus on
emotional intelligence development.
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:Some of them are mindfulness
based interventions, some
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:of them are CBT, Cognitive
Behavioural Therapy interventions.
348
:But improving our emotional intelligence
with ADHD can really change how you
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:cope with emotional dysregulation,
with stress, and allows you to focus
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:more on these positive emotions
that, as I said before, help you to
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:rise up in this wonderful circle.
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:How do you apply that emotional
intelligence to ADHD today, if
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:you can't enrol in something?
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:Thinking of number one,
self awareness, journaling.
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:And journaling doesn't
have to mean writing.
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:It can mean recording your
thoughts as you speak them aloud.
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:If you're a verbal processor,
that's a very powerful way to do it.
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:But journaling allows us to
improve our self awareness.
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:You might want to use a note or
an app to track your emotions and
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:responses to things throughout the day.
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:You might notice that your
ADHD is affecting how you feel
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:emotionally or vice versa.
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:In improving your self regulation,
things like mindfulness,
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:obviously, breathing practices,
and of course physical exercise.
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:They all help us to manage impulsivity and
our emotional spikes, that dysregulation
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:which we're more likely to experience.
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:In terms of motivation, this one is
very personal, but sometimes we need to
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:think about the low hanging fruit and
really celebrate the heck out of it.
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:I'm keeping it very PG here.
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:You might want to achieve a really
huge, massive stretch goal, but if
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:you try to jump to the end of the
line before you've been able to
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:do the daily thing consistently,
it's going to be really difficult,
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:but learning how good you are.
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:At the small thing that gets you along
that path is going to give you more
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:motivation when you acknowledge it, when
you anchor it, when you celebrate it,
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:when you share it with other people.
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:Because with ADHD, we quite often
have a low frustration tolerance.
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:If things are hard, we're
just going to give up.
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:It's more common in ADHD.
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:It's partly to do with that.
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:Seeing the destination, but not being
able to visualize and experience
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:the tiny steps that get you there.
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:And if there's any barrier, if we jump too
many steps and get stuck, we can really
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:quickly get frustrated and just give up.
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:Learn how to celebrate
the low hanging fruit.
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:Make it a big deal.
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:There are ways to improve your
empathy empathy is something
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:that often comes naturally.
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:If it's not with other people,
we can experience empathy for
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:things like dogs and cats.
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:So if you're somebody who feels easier
to be empathetic about a dog suffering,
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:you might want to spend a bit of time
doing perspective, taking exercises
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:and thinking about how other people
are experiencing the same situation.
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:But again, be aware of your boundaries
and if you're prone to being emotionally
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:flooded by the pain of other people,
don't spend too much time on that.
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:Instead, look at how can I set a boundary
for myself so that I'm not Kind of drag
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:it down by the discomfort of other people
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:Emotional intelligence gives us a
really good framework To think about
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:how we can focus on building positive
emotions How we can improve our
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:experience of daily life with ADHD,
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:but it's something that takes time
It's not something we're going to be
402
:able to do overnight, and that can be
difficult if you're working in isolation,
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:or you're not making it external so
you don't feel or see any difference.
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:You're not able to track
the output every single day.
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:That makes a difference.
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:And while we're talking about emotional
intelligence, I want to introduce an idea
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:that I am developing and mentioned first
at the CHADD conference in December,
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:which is about emotional acuity resonance.
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:Yes, it makes a very nice acronym
EAR, E A R, but I wanted to
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:offer it as a, an addition.
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:to the idea of rejection sensitivity
or deficient emotional self regulation.
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:Because I think there are some people
with ADHD who really do have great insight
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:and awareness of other people's emotions.
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:And when it's developed carefully
with boundaries and self
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:awareness and all these other
things, it can become a strength.
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:And obviously emotional acuity resonance
means that we are aware of the emotions
417
:of others and we have insight into them.
418
:Acuity means that we assess them,
understand them, interpret them
419
:accurately, and that's something is more
difficult if you're feeling dysregulated.
420
:But you're able to tune in and
understand the perspective, the
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:emotional experience of other people.
422
:And resonance means that
we can tune into it.
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:And when you're able to connect
with somebody on an emotional level,
424
:you're able to do remarkable things.
425
:And that doesn't have to
be in a therapy setting.
426
:If you're in a classroom.
427
:If you are in an office, if you are
developing a product or a service,
428
:if you're studying at university, any
of these circumstances where we are
429
:required to connect with other people
and understand their perspective and
430
:their emotions, we can use this emotional
acuity resonance to tune in and to
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:identify what is motivating people here.
432
:And I think when we're in a Time
where division seems to be absolutely
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:rife and it feels like we're being
divided and pitted against one another.
434
:This insight, this ability could be
something that people with ADHD can
435
:use to bring our society back together,
to allow people to communicate better,
436
:To improve the lives of many people,
as well as from a kind of commercial
437
:point of view, it can be useful in
things like marketing and sales and
438
:research and product development.
439
:So again, if you're an employer, if
you have somebody with ADHD and they
440
:have this awareness, this insight,
this might be what you are noticing
441
:and then, and if you're in a workplace
and you have this, you might.
442
:Find that you're already using it.
443
:You might be in HR, but you might
also be in things like understanding
444
:markets and what people want, what
customers need, customer relations.
445
:It can be a real strength.
446
:Obviously, all the things I just talked
about with emotional intelligence
447
:are useful in developing this
emotional acuity and resonance.
448
:Things like journaling, self awareness,
thinking about how am I feeling, what's
449
:impacting my emotions, developing
that awareness and almost that
450
:acceptance and separation so that
you're not in the middle of the storm.
451
:You're able to look at it.
452
:From a helicopter's point of view
and say, Oh, I see what set that off.
453
:When you can do that for yourself,
you're going to be more able
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:to do it for other people.
455
:Whether that's in your family,
your workplace or your school.
456
:And so I think, finishing up our look
at positive emotions and the role of our
457
:incredible gift to be able to be aware
of emotions, to develop our accuracy
458
:and understanding emotions, and then to
use the tools that you might be working
459
:on just now in your own personal life
to support others, to bring people
460
:together, is a real strength in ADHD.
461
:When we have a passion,
we really go for it.
462
:And I'm thinking of ADHD people who
have set up charities, who are creating
463
:social change, who are fighting
for people that maybe don't have
464
:access to assessment, to medication
465
:they range from small individual
groups in local areas all the way up
466
:to big groups like ChadD and ADDA.
467
:These are grassroots.
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:groups set up by people who have
ADHD, who recognize the challenges and
469
:who bring that empathy into action.
470
:That is the power of
positive emotion in action.
471
:with ADHD.
472
:And I just want to finish with a quote
from my mentor and coach, Jay Perry,
473
:who says that coaching is love and
wonder that leads to effective action.
474
:And love and wonder are two of
the most powerful, emotions
475
:that you can experience.
476
:And I would invite you to think, how
can I experience them on a daily basis?
477
:What attitude do I need to feel wonder?
478
:When I look at things around me and
cultivate that as much as you can, and
479
:you'll really quickly start to experience
the exponential growth of what is possible
480
:and what is positive on a daily basis.
481
:I hope that this little look at positive
emotions has been helpful for you.
482
:I'm developing a toolkit, which I'm going
to share with you next week, all about How
483
:to manage emotions, how to regulate your
emotions, how to focus on the positive
484
:ones and how to make that visible for you.
485
:I'm going to share it with you.
486
:I want people to use it.
487
:And let me know what more do you need?
488
:What is it changing for you?
489
:You can do it now with a notebook.
490
:You don't need to wait.
491
:You can start journaling.
492
:You can start breathing.
493
:You can start walking and exercising.
494
:You can start recording these.
495
:Bursts of joy on a daily basis.
496
:These things you're grateful for.
497
:And it can be, you know, one of my
clients called it the Maria list.
498
:This idea of raindrops on
roses and whiskers on kittens.
499
:Record things that spark that joy for you.
500
:And just see what happens on it.
501
:Just see what happens when we're
focusing on those moments of joy.
502
:I really hope this was helpful
and got you thinking about ADHD
503
:and emotions in a different way.
504
:Let me know what you're
going to take forward.
505
:What new insight did you
get from today's show?
506
:Please email in.
507
:I'd love to hear from you.
508
:Share the episode if you want other people
who are maybe feeling a bit stuck, a bit
509
:downhearted, who maybe don't believe that
things can change or that Thinking about
510
:things in a more possible light is helpful
for their physical and mental health.
511
:And I'll be back next week to round
up our look at ADHD and emotions with
512
:a collection of the most powerful
and easy to implement tools that
513
:you can use on a day to day basis.
514
:Thank you again for listening
to ADHD Powerful Possibilities.
515
:I'm ADHD coach Catherine and I'm so
grateful that you were here today.
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:Until next time, take care.